It must be because I am creeping closer to 49 and next year 50! Maybe it's because I've done a lot of things... a lot of foolish things supposedly in the name of love. I spent way too many days and nights crying and wringing my hands over mess. I have done men wrong as the day is long. What did I care about their hearts? I wanted what I wanted and then I didn't want them anymore. How immature and tired. I have been a fool and gambled too much with the cards I was dealt.
Marriage was truly an oasis in the dessert. It saved me for a time and now that has long since ended.
What do I know about love so far? What can I can look back over and really define, defend and detail what I know about love?
I am going to leave this here to hang in the ether. I am going to give this real discernment. I am going to take this to prayer.
I do not have a cut and dry answer for this. I wish I did. It is complex as is my life. It is transitioning as is my life. It is evolving and expanding as is my life. And yet it remains constant as love wants to do and be.