I am guilty of not wanting to extend myself in love for love. I am guilty of being selfish. I am guilty of being afraid. Holding onto my fears does not bring me peace, joy or love. What is does bring me is drama, confusion, missed opportunities and loneliness. This is not a "Beat Me Up" post. This is a cleansing and I gotta let love rule post.
For the first time in my life I can see the pitfalls in the path. I don't have to fall to the bottom of the well to get a clue. I can stop the train before it wrecks. And it doesn't matter if I am too late. What matters is I am recognizing my mess and I am getting in front of owning my crap. This is empowering. Sometimes you gotta lose before you can win. I have lost a great deal and I don't want to lose anymore.
I have more than I need for the journey of now. I am the magic. I am the wise warrior queen. Who knows more about me than me. I am grateful for all the self-help books, Oprah, bloggers who know how to soothe and support, sister-friends who boost me up. I have a village. I no longer have to be a fool or be foolish. I don't have to choose fear over love.
Sitting in my Doctor's office this morning I realized that I have to live as I dream....fully and in living color! I have to open myself up and let all this love flow in and out of ME! Good health begins with a good mind. A healthy positive mind. My thoughts and spirit reflect my well-being. I have to believe in my ability to achieve excellent health and be disciplined and deliberate in achieving it.
I've been turned around a bit, but I believe I am back on course. I can see with such clarity that I am astounded at who I was was a few weeks ago. Who am I now? I believe I know. Today I swear I know who I am and what I want. I am smiling. I feel encouraged.
THIS IS GOD'S REAL GIFT TO US...THE AHA MOMENT! That moment of sheer clarity and understanding. The moment when who I am is in harmony with what I want. And that what I have is exactly what I want!
Yes, I am smiling and I am encouraged.