I had a date. A real date. As dates goes it was OK. He seemed like a nice man...a bit self absorbed.. a bit arrogant...and superficial. All that is fine. I am not pressed by it. But I realized, I AM NOT READY TO DATE!
See as he was sitting there talking about him...all about him. I realized I was not excited. I didn't feel fun. He did not peak my interest. Perhaps I am being too finicky. But there is something to getting a vibe on someone. There is something to being open to new possibilities. But I am not interested in being glib, acting like a pageant queen, careful as to how I present. Over thinking my comments. I am just not ready. Truly.
I have all that I need. Great Sister-friends. A best friend (RT) who I hang out with once a month over drinks & dinner. I am getting comfortable in my aloness...my uncoupled state. I think I wanted some steamy sexy tryst(s). I thought I wanted mindless, unemotional, disconnected sexual encounters....I do not. I want sex. I want sex in a thoughtful, loving way.
I can wait.
I can wait. Wait for the love that I need and desire. I can wait on committed sex. I can wait on intimacy and loveship.