Friday, January 23, 2009


I had a date. A real date. As dates goes it was OK. He seemed like a nice man...a bit self absorbed.. a bit arrogant...and superficial. All that is fine. I am not pressed by it. But I realized, I AM NOT READY TO DATE!

See as he was sitting there talking about him...all about him. I realized I was not excited. I didn't feel fun. He did not peak my interest. Perhaps I am being too finicky. But there is something to getting a vibe on someone. There is something to being open to new possibilities. But I am not interested in being glib, acting like a pageant queen, careful as to how I present. Over thinking my comments. I am just not ready. Truly.

I have all that I need. Great Sister-friends. A best friend (RT) who I hang out with once a month over drinks & dinner. I am getting comfortable in my uncoupled state. I think I wanted some steamy sexy tryst(s). I thought I wanted mindless, unemotional, disconnected sexual encounters....I do not. I want sex. I want sex in a thoughtful, loving way.

I can wait.

I can wait. Wait for the love that I need and desire. I can wait on committed sex. I can wait on intimacy and loveship.


Kay C, The Quiet Storm said...

Hey Love,
I read the first few lines and thought "go on girl!" You are in the right mind frame of not rushing things. The big first step is to go on that first real date.

There is nothing wrong with being picky. Be as picky as you want to be!!! Rest assured when you know what you want, you will know when you get it ;)

Gemini Girl aka GG said...

Good for you! It takes some people years and years of meaningless escapades to find the real deal and what they really want - call it trial and error!...I admit I was on that path of just going thru the motions for motions for months..maybe even a year! just to say I was out on a date, or with someone or not alone. The minute I felt comfortable and was okay with being single I didn't look anymore and then I found love. So when you are ready it/him will come to you! {hugs}

Princess Tinybutt said...

very good.

Danie said...

This is the year to get what's yours and you have every right to be picky and choosy...a first date should be that you wished would never end...

Trust your vibe and if you know that you weren't feelin were probably right...

There is no need to rush...

the prisoner's wife said...

it is good not to rush. rushing can ruin things. and maybe he was just the wrong dude. he didn't cause a spark. wait for the one that does...and oh lawd, will it be good.

Mizrepresent said...

I hear you Lovebabz...this is how it began with me...and sadly, sometimes i feel the way you do...but then again, i rest a bit and get back in the game. Still waiting, but not holding my all.

Sheliza said...

you know what girl, only you can know when you are ready. There is no rush anyway. Do what feels right and you will get what you want.

Aunt Jackie said...

I am gonna swim against current on this one...but my Mom always taught me to give a man three dates before I decided that I didn't like him. She always says that we can all have our off days, he might be off one day and you might be off another.

There's nothing wrong with not being ready to date, but I also think that nothing prepares a woman for dating like dating...Loveless sex only prepares you for more of the same, but dating begats more dating.

Either way if your life is fulfilling and your soul is glowing that's all that matters.

A Go Bytch said...

Hi Love...send me your email when you get a chance... have a great weekend.

clnmike said...

Sorry, but I am assuming that the dude is around your age which means he should know better than to run his mouth about himself all night.

Thats a turn off no matter man or woman.

Lovebabz said...

Hey Kay C!

I just need a bit more time...LOL! Oh I will get in the pool...just not right now :)

I don't think it was him as much as it was me just not ready. and I do beleive you are right...when I am ready "He/Him" will show up!

Thanks Fav Life Coach!

Hi Danie,
You I got so worked up about dating and went one. But really It isn't about dating. It is about being ready to connect. I aint ready...LOL!

Yes I think I was rushing. Becasue it just seemed like I needed to get back on the horse..but I make the rules...duh! So I can go at the pace I am comfortable with...duh! LOL!

I hear you too. I need some more rest...LOL!

Yes, I have always been a person who goes her own way...this shouldn't be any different :)

Your mother was wise. And normally I would yield to the 3 date rule. But when I am more ready than I am right now. AND YOU ARE SO...nothing prepares a woman for dating like dating...that is priceless!

Will come over and give you my email address! lovebabz at g mail dot com

I can always depend on you for the strong and honest male perspective...LOL!

You are right!