My feelings hurt very easily. I take things very personally. I have trained myself to be that way. I decided long ago that whatever the emotion is I want to feel it and allow myself the respect of knowing how I feel. When you have known the kind of childhood abuse I have endured you learn to turn off. To not connect to people or things or places. You have no roots. You never belong or feel safe. I have decided that I do not want to live that way. It has taken me years to soften my skin and to allow emotion to emerge. I am very happy to feel hurt. I can feel hurt.
Now that does not mean I put up with folks who cut me with their words. I will not. When you call someone stupid, it is disrespectful. It means you do not value them or their presence in your life. I care so deeply about the folks that I have in my life that I know their presence reinforces my belief in God and the divinity. Yes friends will hurt your feelings, especially if they voice an opinion that is contrary to your own, or if they are speaking truth to power and you are refusing to be in truth. But to be insulted at the hands of someone you care about and have high regard for is indeed painful.
So what to do when someone hurts your feelings? Does it mean they have no regard for your intelligence, fortitude and yes feelings? I have chosen to do nothing. I have chosen to remain silent and cool. The apology offered says to me that there is awareness of hurting my feelings and acting in a manner that does not speak to love and kindness. That's it.
The world does not tip on its side because my feelings are hurt. But it does make the world seem smaller and colder. My charge is to just know that each encounter with another is designed to teach me something. To show me something. Even if it shows me that what I thought about someone was off base. Or perhaps I need to remember what friendship means and is.
You teach people how to treat you. I believe this. So I have to own my part leading up to hurt feelings. I do. And I must also keep some perspective and not carry my hurt feelings further.
That is the real lesson..to not carry this baggage any further. To feel the hurt and move on.