Friday, November 7, 2008


Fear manifests itself as excuses. Making things you say you want as priorities but doing everything to the contrary to achieve those desires. For example, I say I want to get in shape and yet for reasons I believe are out of my control, I do not get to the gym. But yet I say that it is a priority....hhhm. I say I want to be a writer and yet I make no time to write...hhhm. My list goes on and on.

I know when I stare in the mirror and really see who I am, then I clearly see the fear. The excuse is just fear. Getting what we want is scary. First of all, many of us don't believe we deserve what we get. We want love, success, happiness, flatter tummies etc and will often work like the devil to get those things, but once they arrive WE ARE SURPRISED! Or we don't try hard enough to get the things we desire. Secretly, we believe putting in the effort needed for success will all be for naught.

When I am conscience of my thinking, I am overriding FEAR. Living mindfully. That is my charge. Overriding fear means recognizing fear when it shows up and then walking past it. Oh yes it takes practice. Because fear shows up in so many different ways that sometimes it is hard to detect. Listening to myself and paying attention and being honest with what I feel inside will guide me. Today I am resetting my priorities and walking past my fears.


Kay C, The Quiet Storm said...

You must have been reading my mind. I soooo needed to hear this today. In fact, it is the subject of my latest post.

Thank you for walking the journey with me. We will get through it.


NoRegrets said...

I love coming here and reading these things. It's almost like a sermon.

NoRegrets said...

And yes, I needed it too.

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

wonder where that idea came from - nice reflection folk

Lovebabz said...

Kay C,
I am so looking forward to sitting with you and laughing with a good bottle of wine! We are so connected!

Thank you. I am glad that anything I have to say speaks to you.

Why the most delightful inspiration is often just a converation away. Sometimes someone can say something to you in the most gentle and loving ways and you can hear it.

Someone sweet and dear inspired me to check my fear.

Keith said...

Hi Lovebabz...I haven't been around in awhile but charge it to my head, not my heart..How are you doing? Is that radio show you're on a satelite station or can I listen to it via the internet?

I love this post...It can help me.
we all deal with a certain amount of fear in our lives..most of it is self doubt..I want you to know that this post has helped me a great deal.I'm going to check my fear and self doubt at the door and try to walk in faith. Thanks for this post.

Hope everything is well with you.

Princess Tinybutt said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Princess Tinybutt said...

whew.. like kay c, i needed that, and was going to post about this very thing today too, but chickened out, and did a repost about it instead.

yes, this post has rocked my world. really. both personally, and as a life coach (my ministry) it is my job to help people (specifically women!)recognize, acknowledge, and walk through they're fear.

thank you my love. my warrior queen.

TRUTHZ said...

girl tell it, tell it like it is. fear is such a crippling enemy. and it's so funny because we can recognize it and label it when it has someone afraid to come outdoors, outside of their house...but we often mislabel it when it has someone afraid to step outside of themselves.. outside of their comfort zone...

that's what i am doing now, getting out of my own way and pushing fear aside and throwing my security blanket's time for me to seize the day, come what may and for me to stop wondering how i am going to feel if i am not absolutely perfect...i don't have to be perfect all of the time..but i do need to at least try

KELSO'S NUTS said...

LOVEBABZ: I relate. From my experiences in the secular church -- psychotherapy -- I worked to a very helpful psychological station on fear. I don't seem it because I'm pretty aggressive but I've always been a very anxious and neurotic guy. I still am. Back then, I'd also have a terrible secondary reaction whenever I felt afraid: guilt. For all sorts of reasons I felt like I was emotionally and morally weak when I felt afraid, and that I was letting myself and my family down. I felt guilty and self-indulgent just for having the feeling of fear or anxiety.

The doctor tried a million ways to get me to see things more clearly and to give myself a break because I'm only human. I understood it intellectually but it took a while to take psychologically. What did it was something that made me surrender to the fact that I'd always be afraid of a lot of things but that I was still me and if I was going to be afraid of everything anyway it would be just as easy to be afraid of nothing.

That's when the penny dropped! I still have my fears and dreads but I banished my fear and dread about HAVING fear and dread and assumed I was 100% normal and just pushed forward like I always do. I surely didn't get "cured" but I learned how to cope with one difficult impediment.

Sharon because it had to be said! said...

I am navigating my own personal sea of fears even as I type. I so feel you on this post that it is bringing me even more fear. But you know what? I AIN'T SCARED! I refuse to be scared because being scared doesn't motivate me, instead it only serves to paralyze.

I choose NOT to be paralyzed. I choose to move.

BTW, I am heading to the East coast for work the week of December 8th. I'm planning to try to catch up with Cap and another girlfriend from college to see if I extend my visit for the weekend before or after if they will be available. It would really be icing on my OBAMA IS THE PRESIDENT-ELECT cake if my sister LOVEBABZ might be able to find her way to NYC as well while I'm there....whaddaya think, is there a possibility of that happening? Also, I've already purchased airline tickets for the inaugeration....I'll be in DC from 1/16 through 1/21. Will you be there?

I know I don't come around as often as you'd like me to, but I do hope you know that my less frequent visits DO NOT correlate to the magnitude of the love I feel for you...YOU, I LOVE!

R. Fitzgerald said...

Get out of my head!!!!

Lovebabz said...

Hello, I am well! Thank you. I am glad you found soemthing of value in this post.

It is hard to recognize the excuses we put in font of ourselves. We do it and often we don't even realize it is fear.

Welcome. Thank you for coming by and leaving such a thoughtful comment. Perfection does not exist...if it means without faults.
We are all on our journey to better selves.

You are so RIGHT! It is about dealing with the cards you got. When you recognize there is fear, yoa re better able to prepare to deal with and move on through.

Sister you know I am tryingto work this life out my to be in DC! I ahve no idea how, or where I will saty or what...but I may just be there. With all the Black folks in America!

I love you too. I do not concern myself with you coming to comment or not here. We are linked so intimately that I feel you all the time.


Somebodies Friend said...

My fear comes for good old fashioned experience!

I tried doing it again last night, the thing that brings out the most fear in me, I ask this girl ut that I thought was a lock.

Well guess what, she works at this bar I go to, and she was washing some glasses, I ask her if she wanted to get together afer work, she turned as red a tomato and didn't even look at me or answer.


laurie said...

Ah yes the fear. Been there, go there often still. The first step really is go acknowledge it and then to take steps to overcome.
Also, look back and savour your successes - look at everything you have achieved in the last couple of years! You are strong and smart and courageous and talented. You can beat fear. Just take it easy while you're at it, OK xoxo