Sunday, November 13, 2016

NaBloPoMo Day 13: Finally Accepting

I believe in the power of spell casting... Casting spells...Saying out loud under any moon this is what I want.  And believing that it shall come to pass. I just believe God has my back. I walk the earth knowing this without doubt. The Universe is conspiring to give me what I desire.

It is no secret that poetry is always dripping from my lips and good love stories are always in my heart. Love is the question and the answer. Love Is.

I remember in the early days of this blog all the lamenting over the ending of my marriage. And then the lamenting of never finding love. And then finding love. Then finding out that it wasn't love but gas-lighting and bullshit. Ugh, and all the failed love affairs and all the lessons learned thereafter.

I am squarely in my own space now... Owning my heart and mind as a grown-up woman. I am speaking kindly to myself. I am not lamenting anything. I am using my spell casting to strengthen my steps as I support others guided by the light of my smile.  I remind myself that I am a daughter of fortune... A woman of heart and mind, possessing great capacity to love and be loved.

I guess what I am saying is, I'm done with looking at what's missing in my life. Done in the sense of whatever is lacking isn't really true at all. Like today, I was out with a sorority sister all afternoon. We laughed, we talked deeply, we gossiped a bit, we had fancy cocktails and interesting beers and yummy food and we saw a beautiful film, followed by more discussion and fancy cocktails. And we laughed a great deal more. See, I need this in my life. Holy and sacred friendships that make my life better. I can no longer manage some man's expectation of me. Men who like the idea of a magical woman, but can't really abide a magical woman in their everyday practical life.

There is a great deal of peace with fully understanding what you need, want,
require and are willing to do in any relationship... I am standing in that awareness in ways I've never have before. I am making peace with aloneness. I am making peace with letting go of wasteful wishing. I am making peace with me as is.

Look for me under the super moon with fancy paper and pen in hand. Writing to my heart's content in words that heal, uplift and conjure up sacred connection. This means that I open wider to the things that are meant for me. This means that the words I speak become prayers and songs and poems; and the one who hears them will be the one they are for.  I am without question a particular kind of woman for a particular kind of soulmate. This is the truth I am now finally accepting.

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