I cannot do both. Either I pray and believe. Or Worry and disbelieve.
There is no straddling the fence. There is no halfway.
I know what it's like to go to bed with so much trouble on my mind. I know what it is not to sleep for days on end because the fear is so great you don't dare close your eyes to it. And yet by some miracle I come through feeling foolish and ashamed of the doubt, fear and disbelief that held me hostage.
I have not been racked with that kind of fear and disbelief in a long time. It does however fear and worry hang out around the fringes of my life. I must say, I am much more present in my life these days.... I recognize the devil (the negative voices whispering in my mind).
To let Go and Let God is a deliberate revolutionary act of love and faith. It requires training. It requires attention. It requires fortitude and inner-strength.
My prayer life is my life line to God. All prayers... unedited and unfiltered are laid at my alter.... the alter.
The walk of faith is the choice of believing.
I choose to believe.