What is most important to me right now is peace and stability. To live in my physical space without clutter and chaos. To have my mind free of negative thoughts. To be more thoughtful in my prayers. To see Christ in everyone I meet. This is what I desire and creating right now in my life.
No one or nothing can fill me up, make me happy, or rescue me from me. I must do it. It is in my hands to live as I desire in peace and stability. I control what I think so I must change my thoughts when they drag me to the place of gloom and doom. This is not about being happy like a clown. This is about experiencing real joy, being in love with the life I have and radiating that out to my world. I am wasting time whining about lack. I have all that I need. What I want has changed dramatically. I've shifted from the material to the metaphysical and the spiritual. Acquiring things can't be my model of success, because if I should lose those things what then? Love isn't tangible unless its a hug, or a smile or kind words. It is not a ring, or a car, or a big fancy house. I am not knocking those things, I like a little bling too! But what I am getting at is what's really important to me at this phase of my life.
This is not about giving up wants, it is redefining what I want from a real place of peace. What do I need for my journey ahead? Who do I want to be today, tomorrow, next week? I have been in this place of realization before, but what's different is that I am making my home more peaceful. I have de-cluttered the space and am sticking to maintaining a sacred space for me and my kids. Where I live and how I live is all that I can control in this world. My home is my sanctuary and I must treat it as such.
This is where I start to transition into the woman of my dreams. Peaceful, thoughtful, calm, loving, joyous and happy.