So it's Sunday evening, one of my favorite days. I always take a nap in the early part of the day, after Church and after lunch. I usually get in a really good dream of how I want my life to be. There is always jazz on Sunday here. I love jazz and I love gospel jazz or Jazz Gospel music. I love jazz. So I crank on the Bose and find my favorite satellite radio station and Coltrane, or Parker, or some other sublime artist streams through my house. This is how I love to spend my Sunday, no rushing, no plans, no stress.
And in deed I do miss him. I miss his Sunday meandering. I miss his looking forward to football. I miss his interaction with my kids. I miss our witty banter. I miss knowing he is in the house.
I can feel the loneliness slowly creeping in. I can feel myself retreating from the noise of the world. I can feel myself walking down that path again. I feel so brave when I recognize depression coming. I absolutely believe I can head it off at the pass. I have learned to quickly remind myself that I am powerful beyond measure and that God is priming me for my greatness. I like this thinking. it makes me smile big and full. I am laughing because I believe it! So ha ha ha to you depression (devil).
I displayed my crafts in my living room. I never display or share anything I make. But I decided I love it and I want to share it. I think this is good vibrations....sending out good energy and good energy coming in!
The day is coming to a close. Time to round up my kids and call them in and send their friends on their way. Perhaps we'll watch a movie or a TV show. I wish we had dessert, but perhaps freezie pops will do.
I love the ebb and flow of Sundays. I feel so in the rhythm of the moment. Sadness and loneliness aside, I am enjoying the day into evening into night.