These are the lessons I am learning today:
First lesson: That I can't say I believe in God and then act like I don't. First the lesson...then the test. Every time some shit happens the first thing I do is lose faith in believing everything will be all right...WRONG. Faith is doubly necessary when you can't see how you are going to get through the challenge at hand.
The second thing I am learning is: Just because a situation arises and seemingly frazzles me or knocks me down, doesn't automatically mean I have to fall down into that thinking. Or act as if my shit is the only shit in the world that requires attention. The world could care less about my shit.
Third lesson: I can control my emotions and to say or do otherwise is bullshit. I yelled at Margeaux today and I was sorry. She's 9 and I am 48 and she has no idea what I am up against so I can't respond to her as if she does. I gotta be in better control of myself.
Fourth lesson: If I don't like my life I must make the changes necessary to make it how I want it. I am the magic...duh.
Fifth lesson: Words are powerful and all the "I am so sorry" can't really undue all the hurt.
Sixth lesson: If you do say hurtful stuff, act hurtful, own your mess. Apologize and behave in a manner befitting a child of God.
Seventh lesson: If you don't love yourself. There is no way you can love anyone else. If you are harping on things that you don't like about yourself, then it will show up in every relationship you encounter until you change your thinking. No one can love you more than you.
Eight lesson: Respect. R-E-S-P-E-C-T! There is no getting around that for yourself or for someone else.
Ninth lesson: Be kind to yourself. Be kind to others. What does it cost you to be a raving lunatic....trying to "keep it real". No one likes a bully. No one like head games or manipulation.
Tenth lesson: Love is wanting the best for someone even if it's not being with you.