Monday, August 22, 2011

I WANT TO BE RESCUED...I don't want to be a lonely independent woman.

Today, in this moment I want to be rescued.  I want to be pampered, coddled and tended to.  I want kindness heaped on me for no good reason. I want to be the center of some one's attention.  I want someone to say "Don't worry, I got this"  and I want it to be true.  I want someone to run my bath and fill it with hot hot water with lovely oils and fluffy towels and when I get out of the bath I want him to rub my back with lotion.  I want my feet massaged. I want my scalp massaged. I want to be fanned.

Today I want to be rescued. I want to be babied.  I want to be wrapped in a hug that has nothing to do with sex or foreplay. I want poetry whispered in my ear.  I want vegan chocolates and champagne at midnight and scrambled eggs and turkey bacon at noon.

It is lonely in my bed, in my house, in my life.  I miss the company of someone. I miss mundane.  I miss ordinary. I miss Sunday mornings with all the newspapers spread across the bed with bagels and non-dairy cream cheese (yes non-dairy cream cheese does exist).  I want what used to be, because it ended before I could really enjoy it. Sigh.

Today in this moment I want to be rescued. I want to be thought of.  I want to be wanted.  I am tired of feeling like the last kid on the playground not picked for kick ball.(although  that was not my reality as a child)

I want I want I want I want. I want to be rescued.... I don't want to be a lonely independent woman.  And shut up to all those folks who say wait and fill your life with things and activities and crafts and toys and friends.  I know all that stuff! I have done all that stuff!

In this moment...

...I want to be rescued.




4 comments:

Big Mark 243 said...

I love that you are so very honest and open with what you want. The next step, IMO, is to put it together with what you must become for the vessel to take shape and be able to contain your wants...

...I am in 'a mood' to write about eh, 'relationship issues'... I may have something up in a day or two...

BigmacInPittsburgh said...

When I finally took myself out of the picture,things began to come.

Lovebabz said...

Thank you Big mark 243.
I am indeed becoming the vessel.

BigmacInPittsburgh,
Interesting.... I need to take the focus off myself so much. Yes.

Her Side said...

I SO FEEL YOU ON THIS. In addition to wanting it, I want to shower a lovely deserving man with the same.

God, I feel you, and I appreciate Mark's words about becomming the vessel able to contain and maintain the actual manifestation of this desire.