I have been up since 4:00 am this morning. Worrying. Worrying. Worrying. I thought I had given up worrying. I mean I am on this path to becoming more of who I am supposed to be right? Well here's the deal... I gotta do a lot of things differently and I gotta do them consistently. I gotta give up some old behaviours that have never served me to begin with!
I gotta make some deliberate fast and uncompromising decisions on my financial health. I have got to do more with a lot less. I have got to give up this sense of entitlement to things. I am not saving myself by making excuses about how mindless I am being with my money. In my mind I still feel some entitlement to having nice things, to eating out, to buying stuff on a whim. I DON'T GOT IT LIKE THAT! And yet its like a drug. I want to FEEL LIKE I am in a position to treat myself, my kids, my friends and the real reality is I cannot. I am fooling myself. I am deluding myself. I am not being honest about my money and how its being spent. I am broke. I am however not broken. My financial health needs my immediate attention. I thought I was giving it that, but in reality I was just putting a band-aid on a heart attack. I am bankrupt...seriously.
I have to summon all my inner strength to deal with this. I am masterful at juggling all the bills being paid, but that's not living abundantly...that is surviving. I want to live within my means. I want to live with a sense of peace. I cannot go back to being up in the middle of the night worrying because my bank account is overdrawn and I got $50 in my wallet and I still have other financial commitments. Damn.
Moving in an ENTIRELY NEW DIRECTION (E.N.D.) CALLS ME TO CHANGE! My financial health has to be a priority. I 've got some truth telling to do and then some actions steps to take. Believe me I have a ton of financial/wealth building/Sister Get Your Money Right books. Now is the time to sit and read and and really step into the discipline needed to change my financial present and future.
I am going to create the life of my dreams. The E.N.D. is now!