I was talking to my sister Lo the other day about how I am moving forward dating and I said to her, I want someone to be good to me. I want someone who wants to see me happy and joyful. I want someone to bring peace and goodwill to me. I want someone to be good to me without question or fear or conflict or condemnation or judgment. I am all that I ask for.
I've never known anyone to bring that kind of love to me. I always thought I lacked something that would allow for that kind of love. It never occurred to me I was just choosing poorly.
I was choosing poorly.
I clearly see what I need and want and pray for. I want kind words, I want an attentive spirit. I want witty banter. I want stability and unconditional love. I want affection. I want affection that isn't used against me or as a whipping stick. I want someone who is fearless and bold and loves my boldness. I want someone who has a life he loves. I want someone who has room for me and all my quirky shit.
I want laughter all the time. I love like this. I have always loved like this. I just didn't trust my own heart and mind.
I just chose poorly. I cast my pearls before swine willingly because I didn't trust that what I needed and wanted would show up... or even existed. I had no faith in true love.
I settled for bullshit over and over and over and over again and again and again.
Not this time. Nope, not this time. I either live a passionate life or I don't, I either have someone who is my everything or I don't, I either bask in the glow of my own brilliant light or I don't. There is no halfway, middle ground, almost, settle-for-this bullshit.
I know how to love. I embrace that and live in my truth. I know how to love and I know how to let someone love me. They gotta come authentic, sincerely and only want my best at heart.
I know how to love. I've always have... I let the world convince me otherwise.
Here is my invitation and declaration to the one who would happily come for me: I know how to love.
I know how to love.