I have never been one of those women who hides her age. Every fucking year I get to breathe I am celebrating!
There is a real sense of maturity in me right now. I feel free and ready to scale mountains. I love the fact that my kids are getting older and moving toward becoming their own selves. I mean, I got a decade left of parenting at this imntimate level... this will take me into my early 60's. this is why i am becoming obsessed with my health and well being. I want to be HOT and spry and foxy and amazingly independent into my 60s, 70s, 80s to the grave.
Never before have I've been so acutely aware of my health... wanting to do all I can to ensure longevity and well being. I believe myself to be a FREED woman. The thought of compromise just stresses my spirit. I can't abide taking direction from someone I don't think is strong, formidable, kind, aware, collected, or honest. Love on terms that are not equitable is not love at all. You gotta give to get... give without the thought of worry of getting. Therein lies the rub... so many are horse traders.... I'll do if you do... I'll give if I see you're giving first.That's not negotiating, that hedging your bets. Keeping your irons in the fire while you cultivate something just in case shit goes wrong.
I've had enough of horse trading. I want full love. Big juicy love. My renewed love affair with my health fuels the desire for true love. This leg of the journey may require support if I fall ill. So if horse trading is the deal, then someone will lose. I'm done with losing.
In three months I'll be 51... this makes me Happy! It makes me happy because, I am different at 50 than I was at 40, 30, 20, 10! I get it on levels that I had no idea existed. My patience for bullshit is 0. Zero tolerance for bullshit, half-truths and self sacrificing dreams masquerading as love and commitment. I am not interested in that anymore. I can't be sold that half assed bill of goods again.
My health is the priority moving forward. Quality of life is the new sexy! I truly get it and will dedicate my life to the pursuit of happiness, good health and LOVE!
50 is feeling damn good... this era of middle age is HOT and baby, I couldn't be more ready!