The Potential Mr. Babz has left the building...Again. I am relieved. I am happy. Of course sad too and broken-hearted. I mean there was great deal of time invested. But at last, we just couldn't make it work. No matter what I did it was never enough. It just felt like a long audition for a marriage that was never going to happen. I just got tired of auditioning.
So I spent a few days giving up on love... truer love. I starting priming myself for a life of solitude and celibacy. Down with love!
And then I realized, that's not what I want to do! I am all for love and I can remain open to it! Just because this loveship sank, doesn't mean I can't get back into the open seas. I own myself. I can feel whatever I want and change my mind to change my life.
I am a woman made for love. Built for love. Loves being in love. I don't have to hold to anyone's expectations or criticisms or nay-saying. I know exactly how I want to live and love. And just because that ship has sailed, only means there is more room in the port for a new ship to sail in.
I am not going to walk around sad and mad. It didn't work out for a great many reasons. It's over.
I am acutely aware of my mortality. I am not going to get another 50 years to work this life out. I gotta make the best of everything right now. I gotta live boldly and grandly right now. So whatever the lessons from this last sinking loveship I gladly take with me as I move back into open waters. I am excited about my life and I am excited about the woman I am becoming and I am exciting about who I am right now.
I am the captain of this ship and I am not looking for someone to man the helm, I am open to inviting someone who wants to sail with me... some days as the captain and some days as the first mate. I am heading back out to sea stronger with an adventurous spirit and a happy heart.
I've come a long way and learned so much. This is a testament to all the books and webinars and motivational sayings I've gathered and filled my spirit with. I am in charge of my being. I can feel and move through anything. Nothing breaks me anymore. God has my back.