I am coming to understand that what shows up in my life is a reflection of what's on my heart, mind and soul. That whatever choices I make reflect my state of mind... my state of being... my state of saneness...my state insanity.
This is a hard truth. This is the truth I have been running from all of my adult life.
God has been trying with great success to get me to see this. God does not say aha I gotcha! Instead God says come and seek shelter and liberation and peace... I got your back. But in the back of my mind, in some far reaching corner of my heart fear casts doubt, even as I beleive in God's call, I am reluctant to go and come.
Like most people, I am learning to live as I go along. Or maybe most people don't see it that way... many will say it is what it is. I do know that I am more open to this life right now than I have ever been. And I swear the more open I become, the more opening I have to do. Opening is infinite... like love... like God.
Resistance is addictive. I see that now, otherwise why resist? I am not sure I ever fully explored why I am resistant to EVERYTHING I SAY I WANT ONCE IT SHOWS UP!
I am open to opening more beyond what even I know is possible.