Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Revisiting fear...

I have been around long enough to know fear.  I have looked at myself from the inside out, upside down, right side up and back again.  I know fear.  Fear isn't just the boogey man under the bed.  Fear isn't just the bump in the night.  Fear woos you like a faithful lover.  It shows up just at the moment you are about to jump into your dreams.

Fear woos me like a faithful lover, it shows up at the moment I am about to jump into my dreams. Fear is so convincing that I start to believe that it is my own voice being intuitive.  And that's where the damage is done...I believe by waiting for just the right moment to dive in is better than just diving in because the water is perfect right now!   I find myself sitting on the edge watching everyone else jump in and swim to their success.  This is not about measuring myself against others success.  It is about admiring others success and wanting success for myself.

Fear shows up in all kinds of ways and I thought I was better at recognizing it.  Well perhaps I must remain on constant alert. Fear never takes a vacation. As long as I am striving for a better experience of myself fear will hover and look for ways to keep me stuck. I think I was under the belief that if I whipped my fears once that would be enough.  But new fears show up at each step toward my success.

I know who I am. And it is this awareness and consciousness that is my best offense against my fears. I get to create and craft my story of a lifetime. I get to dream uninhibited.  I get to chase every dream as if my life depended on it. It does.

The fears and doubts and uncertainties are illusions.  They are not life-threatening... I know real peril and I do not deliberately put myself in harms' way.  This is another fight... a battle of keeping my eyes on God's grace, or succumbing to my fears that are not of God.

Every minute of everyday I get to choose.  I get to choose love over fear. Today love wins. 


2 comments:

Moanerplicity said...

Fear. Who all know it by its naked name. But what is it really? A lover or a menace? And old frienemy or a familiar foe?

It can be a bit of all of these.

But the most important truth can be found when you dissect this word, letter by letter...


Fear = False Evidence Appearing Real.


*ponder*


One.

Shai said...

Awesome post. I am feeling the fear too. I have been thinking about it and how life still goes on and fear fights to get in like a lonely child wanting attention. SMH. It is always a fight or a surrender to move out the way and let God get it. Fear is a chameleon changing color and shape and snaking into your thoughts a life.

I feel a poem coming on. Wow!