Monday, January 28, 2013

Fade to Black.... Finally.

The thing is this, if I didn't cut it all the way off, I would still be swirling another 4 years of excuses, loaning money and ridiculous demands on what he needed to make a home.  He has not changed.  He is still doing the same shit he was doing well over 30 years ago.  Still broke. Still borrowing money. Still homeless (moving in and mooching off people) and still making observations about other people's lives and oblivious to the state of his own. (this is not news).

This is not about him.  This is ALL ABOUT ME! I just decided to get off the ride... this is where I came in at and if I don't run like the wind, I'll be trapped in some foolish marriage rife with gender specific roles and a weariness of settling for someone who is  a colossal waste of my time.

BABZ STOP SETTLING FOR MR. NOT-EVEN-CLOSE-ON-FURTHER-INSPECTION! 

Back to the Love List... I can indeed have the loveship of my dreams! I know it and I believe and it will find me!

This post is about feeling liberated and free.  Totally free.  No back sliding for hot sex.  No start again...try again...go again.  it is fade to black.

Yes.

Fade to BLACK!  Means I have stopped accepting his phonecalls/texts/morephonecalls/moretexts.
I have stopped sending texts and calling and texting and calling. DONE!.  I have stopped listening to his messages looking for yet another loan until....

I am broke.  My house is in forelosure.  I have 4 kids to support. I can't keep supporting his inability to keep a job for this reason or that....

FADE TO BLACK.

So I am cutting all ties.  He'll be alright.  He uses people... he'll make a way. 

I'll be alright....  I'll make a way...I am open to all kinds of miracles.

Finally.  Fade to Black.

*Note: Yes, Zora, this is an answer year... my answer is totally goodbye.

2 comments:

Princess Tinybutt said...

good girl.

how you start is how you continue, and then of course... how you finish.

how my beloved was 23 years ago, is just as he is now... 23 years later. i mean EXACTLY. there has been some minor alterations, some mellowing. but that came with maturity and his willingness to want to be all that he could be for me, for us. you can't be mad at that.

so yes, your DIVINE beloved is out there waiting for you. so keep at it, hell.... that's have the fun!

xoxo

hysterrunner.com said...

Good for you! Taking a stand is definitely necessary with a man as you described. Take care!