As I yet again do the same bullshit I swore I wouldn't do, the most amazing thing happened. I SEE IT! I GET IT!
The change I so deseparately want is right here and right now. Change doesn't arrive on wishes. I must act on the things I say I want.
As I was getting myself ready to whine about another failed attempt at one-thing-or-another. I decided to open myslf to prayer. Dear God help me... help me help myself be all that I am going to be.
There are things that have to go to God. In my life, God is important and real, but I
have not fully turned over my ills to God. I don't know why, maybe its ego; I can do it myself. Or maybe I am afraid of laying everything down....what would I do?
This is the long awaited moment. This is the walk forward no looking back moment. Perhaps I have been here before and was afraid to step, maybe the brass ring has come and gone many many times and I was too afraid to reach for it, jump at it. There is a readiness in my spirit that is bursting forth whether I embrace it or not. I am called to embrace it.
This is the moment that is calling to me. There is only answering the call. There is only embracing this moment.
Time for asking the question of readiness is long past. There is only accepting and embracing. God has already said I am ready. God has breathed life into me ready. All this time I thought I was preparing to step into my destiny. The fact is I was already prepared.
Moving forward there is no more asking who am I and what do I want.
This moment calls for acting with all deliberate speed.