Dear Body... Change Is Coming.

Dear Body,

You are about to change.

You are about to be pushed past your limits.

I don't care that you and my Mind are in cahoots to stay stuck and fat.

My heart is stronger.

My heart will drive this change because God works through the heart.

My heart knows no fear!

My heart and my trainer Mubarakah Fatologist Ibrahim knows what to do.

So, Body and Mind hold on and shut up!

The next 14 days will set the tone for the rest of our life.

The Beginning Of Spiritual Maturity...

Am I spiritually maturing?  Am I growing in my faith or am I just spinning my wheels hoping for miracles and not doing the work to walk closer with God?

I feel this kind of examination needs its own blog.  It's own place where it does not have to compete with the day-to-day bullshit romance of my life. I have been thinking about this a lot.

I find myself calm and peaceful in some areas of my life.  In other areas I am unglued.... banshee-esque.  I want to have a peaceful life where the world does not wear me down.  I want to live a peaceful life where I am not moved by the mess of other people's lives.  I am not talking about being removed, remote, reserved. Maybe it has nothing to do at all with other people.

My struggle is with God and about my walk with God as my friend and redeemer.  The real struggle is with moving in that direction and away from the trappings of the world... all the material shit that I covet, hoard and just like looking at, dreaming about and lusting after.  Maybe this is where spiritual maturity begins, owning my materialistic desires and deciding that they carry no more weight.

My faith walk toward God is becoming very important to me. It is growing in me and I am allowing it take root.

So I am sure a blog is coming.  I can feel it.  This one here will always be my baby.  My heart is calling for something more.

Creating A Life I Don't Want To Escape From...

I am moved by this.  Something about this speaks to my core. Can I do this?  Can I create a life I don't want to run from?  Can I see vacations as a treat rather than an escape?

21 Day Meditation Challenge... Yes I am Doing It!

I am doing the 21-Day Meditation Challenge hosted by Deepak Chopra.  I am serious about quieting my mind. I am committed to learning how to discipline and bring order to my mind and spirit.

COMMITMENT IS LIKE A MUSCLE... YOU GOTTA STRENGTHEN IT!

The only way to get good at anything is to be committed to it.  Anything I say I want I have to be committed to going after it, achieving it and sustaining it.  There is no fairy Godmother who will come in hand me a life of my dreams with a wave of a wand and pixie dust.

EVERYTHING of value, substance and desire requires a commitment. I have to be confirmed in my mind that what I say I want I really do want.  And I have to move my ass in that direction.  Meaning I have to more than just make a cursory effort, I have to bring it!  This is where I have been full of shit.  Announcing all my wishes, hopes, dreams, wants, needs, desires, yada, yada, yada.  And then I just leave the announcements to hang in the air without any real commitment to see things to the end.  Hell, some of the things I say I want I haven't even put effort forward to accomplish them.

The change happens in my own heart and mind first.  God has been whispering to me from birth my destiny.  There is no more wallowing in the bullshit of my on-going, rational excuses.

There is no secret to my heart's desires.I have to take a cue from Mary Mary and go get my blessing(s).
That means meet the day with gusto, prayers and meditation.  It means working out and getting fit.  Treat my temple as a temple and quite polluting it. It means keeping my spirit stirred on righteous thought. It means be kind instead of being right.  It means operating from a place of love all the time.

Commitment is like a muscle... you gotta strengthen it!

There is no easy or hard, only a change and shift in perspective.  49 is fabulous and ripe with truth-telling.

How to make a Martini Cocktail - Liquor.com

I love a vodka martini.  Sometimes you just gotta have a really well made martini.  Don't die until you have one.

Cheers!

And drink responsibly. Don't be an idiot.  Alcohol cannot solve one damn problem! 

The Change I Desperately Want Is Right Here And Now...

As I yet again do the same bullshit I swore I wouldn't do, the most amazing thing happened. I SEE IT! I GET IT!

 The change I so deseparately want is right here and right now. Change doesn't arrive on wishes. I must act on the things I say I want. As I was getting myself ready to whine about another failed attempt at one-thing-or-another. I decided to open myslf to prayer. Dear God help me... help me help myself be all that I am going to be.

There are things that have to go to God. In my life, God is important and real, but I have not fully turned over my ills to God. I don't know why, maybe its ego; I can do it myself. Or maybe I am afraid of laying everything down....what would I do?

This is the long awaited moment. This is the walk forward no looking back moment. Perhaps I have been here before and was afraid to step, maybe the brass ring has come and gone many many times and I was too afraid to reach for it, jump at it. There is a readiness in my spirit that is bursting forth whether I embrace it or not. I am called to embrace it. This is the moment that is calling to me. There is only answering the call. There is only embracing this moment.

Time for asking the question of readiness is long past. There is only accepting and embracing. God has already said I am ready. God has breathed life into me ready. All this time I thought I was preparing to step into my destiny. The fact is I was already prepared. Moving forward there is no more asking who am I and what do I want.

This moment calls for acting with all deliberate speed.

Heart - These Dreams

I love this song.  My mood is begging for this song....  There is indeed something out there I can't resist.
************************

Spare a little candle
Save some light for me
figures up ahead
Moving in the trees
White (Brown) skin in linen
Perfume on my wrist
And the full moon that hangs over
these dreams in the mist
Darkness on the edge
Shadows where I stand
I search for the time
On a watch with no hands
I want to see you clearly
Come closer than this
But all I remember
Are the dreams in the mist
These dreams go on when I close my eyes
Every second of the night I live another life
These dreams that sleep when it's cold outside
Every moment I'm awake the further I'm away

Is it cloak 'n dagger
Could it be spring or fall
I walk without a cut
Through a stained glass wall
Weaker in my eyesight
The candle in my grip
And words that have no form
Are falling from my lips

These dreams go on when I close my eyes
Every second of the night I live another life
These dreams that sleep when it's cold outside
Every moment I'm awake the further I'm away

There's something out there
I can't resist
I need to hide away from the pain
There's something out there
I can't resist
The sweetest song is silence
That I've ever heard
Funny how your feet
In dreams never touch the earth
In a wood full of princes
Freedom is a kiss
But the prince hides his face
From dreams in the mist

These dreams go on when I close my eyes
Every second of the night I live another life
These dreams that sleep when it's cold outside
Every moment I'm awake the further I'm away

These dreams go on when I close my eyes
Every second of the night I live another life
These dreams that sleep when it's cold outside
Every moment I'm awake the further I'm away