I do believe I am in a good place in my life. I am really embracing my openness for love. I am coming to truly understand that love isn't just what I say, but all about what I do. Love is all about doing even when I do not feel like doing anything. Love is putting someone else's needs, wants, wishes and dreams before my own. That doesn't mean I squash mine or bury them or not chase them. It means I am holding the space open for love by extending my attention to my beloved, as he does the same for me.
Who am I and what do I want? I have been asking myself this question for years and years on this blog. In the beginning I thought there was a definitive answer to these two challenging questions. I believed that once I answered them that I would have the answers for my whole life. What I have recently discovered is that I know who I am and I must rediscover me everyday! And what I want is deep abiding love, faith and commitment from myself and to myself. I wanted someone to come in and give me more of what I wouldn't give to myself. I was still chasing the fairy tale. I was still choosing the fairy tale with folks who never read the story or if they did could care less.
The man I love today has a different story...still ripe with a happy ending, but soul-ly rooted in a reality that we create together. As I am getting my act together about how to be in love with someone, I know that I must be grounded in truth and reality. I must be open to the day-to-day choice to love deeply and fully.
This blog isn't about a destination or an ending. It is my life as a constant transitioning woman. I am alive and full of excitement and wonder. The passing of Whitney Houston scared me. Now more than ever I must live this life like its golden. I must find beauty everyday. I must hold the space for love deliberately and happily.