I do believe I am in a good place in my life. I am really embracing my openness for love. I am coming to truly understand that love isn't just what I say, but all about what I do. Love is all about doing even when I do not feel like doing anything. Love is putting someone else's needs, wants, wishes and dreams before my own. That doesn't mean I squash mine or bury them or not chase them. It means I am holding the space open for love by extending my attention to my beloved, as he does the same for me.
Who am I and what do I want? I have been asking myself this question for years and years on this blog. In the beginning I thought there was a definitive answer to these two challenging questions. I believed that once I answered them that I would have the answers for my whole life. What I have recently discovered is that I know who I am and I must rediscover me everyday! And what I want is deep abiding love, faith and commitment from myself and to myself. I wanted someone to come in and give me more of what I wouldn't give to myself. I was still chasing the fairy tale. I was still choosing the fairy tale with folks who never read the story or if they did could care less.
The man I love today has a different story...still ripe with a happy ending, but soul-ly rooted in a reality that we create together. As I am getting my act together about how to be in love with someone, I know that I must be grounded in truth and reality. I must be open to the day-to-day choice to love deeply and fully.
This blog isn't about a destination or an ending. It is my life as a constant transitioning woman. I am alive and full of excitement and wonder. The passing of Whitney Houston scared me. Now more than ever I must live this life like its golden. I must find beauty everyday. I must hold the space for love deliberately and happily.
Happy Birthday #54 to ME!
9 months ago
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3 comments:
They say when it rains, it doesn't just fall on one (wo)man's house...I just had a conversation about love and then blogged about love. I am questioning if I am ready for love or even know how to love in love's true essence. After reading my new approach is leaving space for love...thank you...I needed that one.
I really LIKED this. I dig it because it's less about searching for that illusive something & more about Self-Discovery. That's the righteous path! Hell, even Our Most Actualized Sister Oprah Winfrey is on a constant search of & for self-discovery.
I think, maybe, in such searches, we often become reacquainted w/ our God Force.
*ponder*
One.
This was a profound entry Babz... I think many of our sisters are so used to being told who and what they are, from their families, friends, societies who they are without and with out determining that answer for themselves. And without knowing who you are, it goes without out saying that you will be unsuccessful in discovering what you want...
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