Tuesday, December 2, 2008


You know in your heart when things end in friendships and loveships, at work, anywhere you have close ties and commitments. I know the ending of things cause a great deal of sadness and grief. My marriage ending was and is profoundly sad to me. The ending of my crush on My Crush is a different kind of sad. Not life altering....more like auld lang syne.

What I am learning is when you allow the grieving process to run its course and you let yourself feel the loss. Then you begin to realize that the universe is really making room for the next...loveship, job, friendship. It is hard to recognize this as we are ending things because quite frankly it hurts and we feel like we failed on some level. But I say, shift our thinking a bit and think we did not fail, that our loveship, friendship, career choice was what was needed at the time and we got what we needed from them to move us further along in our journey.

As I step back and take stock of where I am at this very minute, I can see my life shifting. I can feel the difference as this year is coming to its end. I am not so focused on what I don't want. I am making room. Making room for all the gifts, blessings and good intentions coming my way...that have come my way. I want to live and love in abundance with open hands, heart and mind. If you are desperately holding on to old wounds and hurts. Let go. Walk out on faith and let the universe open up and make room. There are boundless gifts of joy, love and peace waiting for you.

My Grown Up Christmas List 1-7

Dear Santa, I want:
  1. More time to read for pleasure
  2. A new house in Atlanta with a great kitchen, and large backyard
  3. Commitment to practice meditation
  4. A serious committed relationship with LOTS OF SEX (will add this again further down the list) (Santa see Love List for details)
  5. Work on knitting---took a class but I am still not good at it...yet
  6. More time for my artistic pursuits (theatre, opera, museums, crafts--yes I love crafts)
  7. New high end professional grade pots


Kay C, The Quiet Storm said...

I am LOVING the grown up Christmas List. Secretly, I have made one every year.

I was watching Joel Osteen on Sunday and he preached about obstacles. Saying that your great obstacle is God's way of preparing you for your next great success.

Take your time to grieve, it helps you not dwell in the past.

Oh yeah...I have a wonderful Real Estate agent when you are ready to serch for that great house in Atlanta ;)

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

not lots of sex lol

Mizrepresent said...

Oh, i love the list...and i hear you on letting go, and allowing something new to enter our lives. I am trying to let go...but even recently i thought about this year, this devastating year of loss, of challenges i have never faced before, of pain i have never dealt with...as i look back, and i look forward and i look around me...i see, i'm still standing, and so I've got another chance at this. I am stronger, hopefully wiser, and more spiritually connected because during the worst of my times, there was nobody there but God!So i feel blessed. Last year i did a post on what i wanted for Christmas...i'm gonna check it out and see if my wish is still the same. Happy sailing to you Lovebabz, when you get that house in the ATL, we can sit back and enjoy a few more good times!

laurie said...

I wish I were Santa....;-)

Monique said...

I love this post and the idea of a grown up christmas list. That is awesome.

MsKnowitAll said...

Amen on making room! You know we are linking arms on this one..

I like your list! Such a good idea.
I like numero 4 girlllllll! LOL

R. Fitzgerald said...

You make room by ridding your mind of the fear.

I like your list.

A new house in Atlanta with a great kitchen, and large backyard


Keith said...

I could have used this list three years ago when I lost my job..a Job I felt was unfairly eliminated by someone who was out to get me.
I couldn't see the future in which I eventually got another job where I'm making more money than the person who eliminated my old job,but it happened and that's when I realized that God was getting me in place to bless me and that was the only way he could get me to this place...because I would have never left the other job on my own...So he set it up where I was removed and had this job fall right in my lap...I'm twice blessed now. What you wrote was so true.

Keith said...

In the middle of that , forgive my bad manners...How are you doing Lovebabz?

Somebodies Friend said...

I love your Christmas wish list, I am really feeling the new home w/a GREAT kitchen, and the lots of sex!{smiles} All the other ideas are very good also!!

@Miz: I am really feeling you in the comment dept today. I had a year like no other, it was devastating to say the least, but I also am still standing.

And my relationship with God is like I never could of imagined, he helped me through the times that I didn't believe I was going to make it through, I honestly didn't believe I would make it earlier this year, my heart was broken into so many pieces that I didn't believe it was repairable, but today I am still standing, and I feel stronger then I ever have.

I feel whole, and I also feel like I can get buy by myself, even though I really want to share my life with SOMEBODY, I don't feel like I need somebody anymore. It really is amazing, I always used to feel like something or someone was missing in my life, even when I had what I thought I needed. Today, I would like to share my complicated life with somebody, but I don't feel like I need somebody anymore.

I feel all grieved out, like I got it all out of my system, like it did run it's course. I needed to experience the pain of the loss in order to make room for what the Universe has in store for me. If you have told me this even a month ago I would have looked at you like you were crazy, but today not only do I agree but I am convinced I needed to experience it in order to grow.

Great post!

blackwomenblowthetrumpet.blogspot.com said...

Hello there!

Reading your post, I was reminded of a book I read by a minister who described the divorce ceremonies that he had witnessed at another church. The pastor of that church required divorcing couples to come BACK to the altar and make vows to their children. The pastor also asked the couple to invite EVERYONE who stood up as witnesses to return to the altar with the couple to witness the revocation of the vows.

After the ceremony, the couple was asked to leave the altar separately, through separate doors...to symbolize that they were walking apart but moving in a new destination.

In his book, he writes that most couples were shocked to see the grief and sorrow on the faces of so many people that they knew at these divorce ceremonies.

I mention this because I think it is important for all of us to understand that as WE grieve certain "losses" in our lives, that we have SO MANY who are grieving with us and we are not alone in our sorrow. At the same time, we have many people who stand WITH US and that is the purpose the pastor had by asking the couple to bring the witnesses back to the altar once more who were there when it all began.

So many remain stuck in the grieving stage and do not embrace the other stage...walking into a NEW destiny.

the prisoner's wife said...

lol i love the list.

lots of good things. i just need a lotto win, my dude at home, my kid in good health, and my mom & granny to live well into their hundreds. all else will fall into place after that.