Friday, December 5, 2008

FAITH FORWARD FRIDAY: WISHING DOESN'T MAKE IT SO & GROWN UP CHRISTMAS LIST

Wishing someone to be something other than what they are is not their fault. It is yours. When you hope against hope that someone will magically see the light and act humanely/kindly/lovingly toward you, when they HAVE never been that way is insanity. It is YOU not seeing them for who they are.

When your expectations of someone far exceeds their grasp. You cannot be upset when they let you down, when they are being who they said they are. People tell us who they are over and over and over and over. Why do we choose to see something other than their reality?

I have this problem with not accepting people's reality. I always believe that people are better than they actually are. I always think that people will rise to the occasion and be their better angels at every opportunity. This is not entirely true. It is not true for myself. I cannot live up to my expectations. So what' s a Grown Woman to do? This post isn't about anybody, it is about me and how I move forward in love.

I cannot point the finger to anyone. I am the biggest wishing fool ever! I am at my worst in loveships. I see potential and I wish for that to manifest itself in the object of my desire, even when they themselves are not feeling that vibe. I believe love elevates and therefore makes you better. Yes & no. Yes, if someone is moving along the same spiritual and self-actualization path as I and is open to love. No, if a person is on a different personal trip. Again this about me and how to walk in my truth. I am not suggesting that we accept mistreatment in an effort to accept folks. No not at all. I am suggesting that in our angst for love we are desperate in making something out of nothing...especially when we KNOW BETTER!

This warrants further discernment. SIGH

My Grown-Up Christmas List 8-13:

Dear Santa,

I WANT:
  1. A Wine Refrigerator
  2. A Spa Gift Card
  3. A kitchenAid Mixer
  4. Better Patience
  5. Maybach...RED
  6. A Summer in Provence

9 comments:

MsKnowitAll said...

I am *here* with you Sister Lovebabz because I always see and fall in love with the potential and fool myself. By the end of the loveship (as you put it), my eyes are opened and I feel even more foolish.

Woman, do I get you...

That's what grown woman is all about, seeing your realities and moving forward to alter them. You are on your path and it's glorious.

Your Christmas List is so possible. I pray you get that spa gift card & the wine fridge with wine in it!

LadyLee said...

"I believe love elevates and therefore makes you better. Yes & no. Yes, if someone is moving along the same spiritual and self-actualization path as I and is open to love. No, if a person is on a different personal trip."

That is profound right there. Nothing but the truth. Wish I would've understood that when I was younger!

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

great show ep so u gone sitting on santas lapp and happy 21st amendment day

Somebodies Friend said...

I have learned this lesson again and again, only this time it has sunk in.

"Wishing someone to be something other than what they are is not their fault. It is yours."

That rings so true for me, it seemed like everywhere I went and everyone I met found a way to walk all over me. It happened so much I just thought it was normal behavior, to be shit on all the time. But at the same time I always said to myself, they will change! And of corse, nothing ever did. That is the definition of insanity, and yes I think I was insane, because I kept putting up with it again and again.

R. Fitzgerald said...

I have this problem with not accepting people's reality. I always believe that people are better than they actually are.

Wow, that is me to a tee. I am especially like that with female friends. I end up with so many of them crying on my shoulder and I can never understand why this amazing woman, that I see, is going through until I realize that she doesn't really act out what I see in her. Because I'm their friend and not intimately involved with them, I oftern overlook that they sometimes play the Bitch or Ho role when they interact with the available men in their life.

thegirlacrosstheway said...

Amen and amen again!

"I have this problem with not accepting people's reality."

I used to suffer from that affliction but thank God I am healed!

flutter said...

Amen, Sister.

Moanerplicity said...

I rolled thru here to get my dose of Sista Lo inspiration, & once again, you did NOT disappoint! *smiles*

Sometimes your words & your honesty speak so eloquently for me & the stuff I've felt, experienced, questioned, pondered, & I know that I'm not alone.

As far as the list: methinks Santa's listening.

SJ!

One.

poeticwax said...

"I am suggesting that in our angst for love we are desperate in making something out of nothing...especially when we KNOW BETTER!"

Wow. This is a whole lotta realness.

I wonder why it is we "see" this potential in the first place? I mean, because if they're acting like Jagoff #1, what is it we're looking at? Just the theory that they could grow up and become wonderful? Or are there glimpses of humanity which we cling to for dear life?

Either way, I've got a lot of thinking to do!