I move through daily constant pain. I just bear it. I just stand in it. I just deal with it.
The weight of things past, present and future. When can I come out of the rain? When can I just rest?
I want so much, that I think I am foolish in my inner desires. I am foolish in ways that make me ashamed. I am foolish still in ways that make me realize I haven't learned shit.
How am I living? Why am I living? These questions get answered and remain unanswered at the same time. There is a weariness that shows up to remind me that the struggle is very real.
Perhaps I am feeling some kind of way because in a few days I'm headed to Martha's Vineyard... Oak Bluffs. It is there I am renewed and refreshed and rejuvenated. The ancestors have direct access to me. I welcome their connection.
Time away is needed. I am prickly for a lot of reasons.
Listen, I'll be back on August 6th or around... In the meantime, read the archives... Good shit for sure! To the right of the screen.