Not just this past week, but my whole life, I have been unreasonable and unkind to myself. Yes I have been unkind to myself. I have been my harshest critic. My meanest foe, my worst enemy, my most formidable adversary. Me.
I have judged myself harshly. I have raked myself over the coals. I have vilified myself to pieces. The source of all my unhappiness is all the mess I told myself. All the second guessing and doubts and fears designed and maufactured by me. All the demons, dragons were summoned by me.
I did this. I am the architect of my life. I see this so clearly this morning. This isn't God's handy work, this is my separation from God.
I have decided to stay off the scale. I have decided to surrender to the love that is nurturing between my lover and I. I have decided to re-commit to good health. I have decided to seek peace in my home. I have decided to leave clutter. I have decided to master my thoughts...and fill my heart and mind with all the best of goodness and positive everything!
Welcome to my Era Of Self Kindness. This is beyond just doing nice things for myself. This is about holding myself in high regard. This is about looking at myself as a beautiful creation, perfect in my imperfection.
The world will constantly tell me I am not enough. God tells me that I am. Why wouldn't I believe God? Why do I think the images of beauty paraded before me is the only answer? This isn't only about looks and appearances. It is about the depth to which I speak to myself.
How am I treating my own heart? How am I caring for my own soul? I have wanted someone else to come and love me more and better than I could do for myself. I didn't even attempt to wrap my arms around myself. What am I worth to myself. And what am I seeking outside of myself?
The only love that I am able to give is the love I already posses. If I am unkind to myself, then what am I to the world truly? And If I am not kind to even my own self who will I be kind to? I must afford myself the same compassion I so readily dole out. I need to redirect my advice and carry it deep within.
Moving with all deliberate speed to usher in my era of self-kindness. Taking this to prayer.