I knew the moment the silent retreat was introduced to me that I would be drawn to it. I knew that somewhere in my soul I would welcome the need for solitude…silence.
I went to bed Thursday night thinking and believing I would ease into Friday quietly and peaceably in preparation for Friday evening. Boy was I wrong! The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry…. Everything that could have gone wrong did! Getting my son to his program late, because I left work later than I wanted to because I had a big project that needed my full attention. So I rushed to pick up my daughter and her after-school plans changed, so that in turn changed everything.
Finally I arrived, ready for the silence to begin. I was ready to stop and throw down my bags and be still. I did just that. Seascape is a stunning house with majestic views of the ocean. It takes your breath away each time you walk in. I never once got tired of looking out to sea.
The question was asked at the beginning of the retreat: What is the grace I need and long for? I answered: to find stillness in my everyday practical life. And so I began the retreat deliberately seeking stillness and a way in which I could add this to my life every day. It is amazing what can happen when you take your hearts desires to prayer and shut up so God can answer them. Learning that was divine gift #1.
Divine gift #2 was walking on the beach listening to the waves crashing up against the snow. God was talking: Toss your fears into the sea. The way to true love is to toss away your fears. Toss your fears into the sea. And just like that I began calling out my fears and letting them fall into the sea. How liberating. How divine. I took this experience into my 2nd spiritual direction time with Maria. The 1st session was all about finding true love in all things not just romantic. I can’t begin to tell you how joyful it was to have that prayer answered. The way to true love is to let go of fear. I asked it in prayer and God answered it. That is the joy, beauty and holiness of silence.