At some point you have to say enough already. You have to know your pain threshold. We are not for each other. Not because we didn't try, but because we tried too much. Forcing a loveship that should have only been a summer fling last year. Here I am, wanting you to leave, move out, break up, break off, leave. This begins the season of mean when breaking up is hard to do. I wish you well. I wish you all the best. I wish you love.
I wish you would leave and take a slow boat to China and not call me, or send me a post card, or even whisper my name. It is quite startling when you realize you've been taken advantage of. When you have given more than you ever received. And you did not give so much because you wanted to receive anything at all. But the taking was so consistent and relentless that you just gave out of habit. We all judge people that's how we keep some mess out of our lives. We judge people on various things to help us decide if their being in our lives could be worth the effort. Sometimes we are successful and sometimes we are fooled, tricked and blinded. In my case I was blinded by history and potential. I saw him as he was, and hoped he would become something more.
He hasn't been here for two nights and it's been so peaceful. I like having my home to myself without someone under foot with a critical eye and a disapproving voice. I must say I had a good run with him, but it has lasted too long. The time has come to part company and get on down the road of our respective paths.
I am not unhappy or sad by any of this. I have learned that regret is wasted energy. To be in the company of someone who you know you will not make a life with is wasted energy. I am going in peace. I remain a hopeless romantic, always believing that true love dwells within. Always knowing that what I am seeking is also seeking me. How divine.
This is goodbye Mr. Love... for real, for real! There is nothing left to say except I wish you well, be safe, find joy and take care.
Happy Birthday #54 to ME!
10 months ago
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5 comments:
It is hard to let go, even when we know we should. I applaud you for seeing things as they are. Hoping you can walk with your head held high and heart still open for the next love.
((HUGS))
Wow! The sad thing is many people, too many in fact... hold on to something that doesn't work, no longer works and maybe even isn't supposed to work. Perhaps they do so out of desperation, or out of the fear of being alone. But it takes a BRAVE & secure individual to say a final GOODBYE to love.
Hopefully that doesn't also mean a final goodbye to JOY!
SJ!
One.
This is usually where I say something about sad endings... and being so hard... blah blah blah.
But in your case, you maturity and self-awareness make this a happy ending. You had a lovely summer fling and learned so much about yourself even through trying to love him.
I watch myself when I start to say things like this:
I saw him as he was, and hoped he would become something more.
For me, it can be a sign that I am not accepting a person as they are... and I may be giving off an energy of disapproval that is tainting the relationship.
Mad congrats to you, My Sista of The Pen!
I’ve just tagged you in a meme that originated at the Electronic Village Blog, which is a place that celebrates the work of Black Bloggers.
Why... you might ask?
Well, basically it’s because, I dig your blog, your writing steelo, the way you engage your readers, the title of your page and b/c you’re so damn cool! Aiight?
Now, part of the meme is to apply five separate links that help to reveal a lil something about yourself, your circle of fam, your friends and those things that truly make my heart beat faster.
So the rules of the meme are thus: Create five links about:
1. Link one must be about Family;
2. Link two must be about Friends;
3. Link three must be about yoursef–- who you are, what your're about;
4. Link four must be about something you love;
5. Link five can be about anything you choose!
That's it. I hope you'll be down to do this & apply the rules in doing so.
And once again: mad congrats to you for having such a killa-dope blog!
Snatch JOY!
One.
Lin
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