I do not feel alone in the world. I haven't felt alone in a long long time. My loveship is ending. Try as I might, there is no resuscitating something that is dead. Hanging on to the bitter end is bitter. We try to salvage love because we can recall when it was good; or when we were willing to let things fall by the wayside, because it (those little annoyances, quirks and personality flaws) were seemingly small and unimportant to the overall health of the loveship. Now those things are enormous and makes us crazy to no end.
I don't mind the solo navigation. I even like it a lot! The only feelings to consider in my decisions, are my own. Oh, I am not anti relationships, quite the contrary, I am more open to loveships more than ever. There is a great deal of value in connecting with someone, being committed to someone else and caring about their well-being. I want that fully in my life again. Its not enough to love someone. There has to be shared language, shared goals, shared forgiveness and shared joy. Nothing can thrive and grow under oppression, sadness and insecurity.
So I am suiting up again, dusting off my wings, checking my controls, tightening my seat belt, putting on my captain's cap and I am off. There's a big world out there and whatever I am seeking, is seeking me.