Sunday, June 27, 2010
UN-DAY: THE EX' NUPTIALS, MOJITOS AND NEW REVELATIONS
The last week has been a very interesting week. I had so many emotions (some that I was fully expecting). He is remarried. The children looked beautiful in their formal wedding attire. Gosh how they grow up right before your eyes.
My Sister-friend JB came over Friday evening, the day before the Ex's nuptials. She came riding in on a white horse with MOJITOS! YES! MOJITOS! Just what I needed. I posted that happy event over at www.eatdrinkdivorce.com
I had planned a day that was a totally UN-day(unstressful, un-wedding, un-kids, un-mess) I didn't want to tie his nuptials to anything that I did. I did not want to mark the day with anything that would keep "Us" connected. I wanted it to be ordinary. I had a plan. Then Mr. Love hijacked them. I was not considering him, he said. I was making plans without thinking of him. SIGH. So we made an inclusive plan. A lovely brunch, a picnic and time together. OK LISTEN FOR THE TRAIN WRECK: We never got to the planned day. We got into an argument which is just one of many in a series of fights that seem to be all my doing...so he says. I lack so much...discipline...consideration...care...concern of another person I say I want in my life. Yes there is a great deal of truth in all that. More truth than I first realized.
Here's the NEW REVELATION: Perhaps I am choosing fear over love. And in choosing fear I am losing out on a grand love. There is love between us. True, deep and abiding. He is patient and I've been scared. We need each other. He recognizes it and I run from it.