Saturday, June 12, 2010


When your partner takes you to the floor, there is an expectation that you will follow.  There is no foreplay of verbal back and forth.  You follow. You trust.  You know your place.

You cannot and must not ask questions.  The movement of the body is the only way to communicate.  You must know your body.  You must be comfortable in your own skin.  It is not about size, height, weight.  It is about TANGO. You move when he moves.  You surrender when he guides you.

There is no talking in TANGO. You cannot just stop and ask what is the next step.

Tango is about communicating with your body.  If you are not comfortable in your own skin, tango will either get you comfortable or make you acutely aware that Tango is not for you.

I am comfortable and uncomfortable in my body.  I am drawn to the passion and sensualness of Tango. I am a sensual and sexual woman.  I am also very aware of the shame I carry in carrying excess weight.  That is my paradox.  Tango ignores weight, size, height.  I do not.

You must answer your life's questions out loud  before you Tango.  You will get answers as you move.  You have to listen and you have to be willing to hear your body. 

There is no talking in Tango.


Big Mark 243 said...

The tango is a man's dance... he must lead and be decisive. His partner has to surrender to him and let him lead, not 'be willing', which to me implys that there was/is a resistence that has to be overcome, but simply to surrender.

And it is in the surrendering to your partner that you will become free of all the worries that you have. In the halcyon days, I liked to let a woman run her hands over my shoulders and my arms... to let her verify what she already knew about me... that I was strong enough to hold and carry her around and my attraction to her also verified what she doubted. And those were the doubts that she was too 'this' or too 'that' (which, as we all know, are not related!!) and she could trust in how I felt and what I saw in her.

In fact, I actually demand that of potential life partners. So once I learn the steps, we can cross the floor in all the heated sexual energy that the lengedary dance generates.

Think I should take lessons..?

Kay C, The Quiet Storm said...

I have become really good at following on the dance floor hardwoods but still working on following off the hardwoods :-)

Was lovingly reminded of that just a few days ago.


Shai said...

Real deep. The thing is the leader has to have compassion for the follower. The leader has to work with the followers strengths and weaknesses. Dancing takes practice on both parts (leader/follower).

Made me think of a party I went to with a date, we were dancing separately to a fast song. Then he moved over to the hustle line and didn't care to ask me or tell me. I was left of the floor by myself. Selfish dancing, I should have stopped right there. He told me everything on the floor, I needed to know off the floor. SMH. Lesson learned the hard way.

Lovebabz said...

Big Mark 243
You would think that on first glance... however on further observation it is a dance about communication. Yes men lead, and women follow, but it has to be a mutual acceptance.

Kay C,
Oh yes it requires work & practice on and off the woodfloors :)

I love that point---the leader has to have compassion. That you have to lead with a willing spirit and an unselfish heart.

Moanerplicity said...

I think to truly master this dance, any dance, or the dance of LIFE one has to surrender to the rhythm of it, and also to leave ALL inhabitions at the door.

I find that people are at their most beautiful when living IN the moment. Not sweating it, not doubting it, and not giving a damn about anything else other than the sheer LIVING within that moment.

Leave your ego and all insecurity at the door, my sister!

Surrender... simply... gracefully and wholeheartedly to the DANCE!

And then... snatch JOY!