FAITH FORWARD FRIDAY: REMEMBERING MYSELF

I have lived an amazing life. I have done a great many things. Big bold GRAND things. I have traveled far and wide. I have loved, been loved and continue to love!

I am a mother, was a wife, been a fabulous girlfriend and a loyal Sister-friend. This is stuff I know. My resume is impressive. Awards, locally, nationally, internationally. I know folks EVERYWHERE! I have lived in some cool cool cool places. I have lived in some dives! I have drank champagne in some the swankiest hot spots around the globe. I have tossed back beer and shots in dives...I mean real DIVES! Some of the best fun I ever had was at the bar in a dive.

I am remembering myself. It is easy to forget what you have done when trouble comes and you immediately think it will break you. Or someone says some mean shit to you and you swear you won't recover. So I am remembering myself. Remembering that I have already walked through fire and can tell you how it was. I am remembering that I am living my dream deferred...not all but a great many. I am living my DREAMS. I need to remind myself of myself.

See everyone thinks they have an opinion how you ought to be. How you should be. Oh no babe. I get to decide how I want to be. I get to decide if I am mad, happy, glad or just bored. I need NO PERMISSION. I am remembering myself today because know one knows me better than I do. No one knows my fears, limitations and weaknesses better than I. I know what makes me feel good. I know how I like to be touched, kissed, made love to and can articulate that with confidence.

I am remembering myself because it is easy to forget all the successes, the good, all the bright lights. I am so much more than my worse moments. And it is the worse moments I remember when I am in the cross way. I am remembering myself because no one can lift me up but me and the DIVINE.

I am learning that people will project their fears onto your dreams. And the well wishing is so NOT well wishing but nay saying in disguise. See I am remembering who I am.

I KNOW FOR SURE, I can only be limited by my inability to dream the biggest dream for myself.

RAW DAWG BUFFALO RADIO TONIGHT 11:00PM EST

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FASHION: PERSONAL OR POLITCAL?

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Raw Dawg Buffalo Torrance Stephens, PhD. The veritable Kelso, popular contributor over at Hell's Leading Daily Newspaper and Me, as we discuss the impact of fashion on politics, pop culture, religion and history.

Yes, I got to choose this weeks topic...HOORAY!

Can Torrance and Kelso endure? TUNE IN!

We will be talking about the history, power and politics of Fashion including the First Lady's inaugural ball gown choices and the controversy surrounding First Lady, Michelle Obama's inaugural ball gown choice by a Cuban-American designer.

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TRUE LOVE TUESDAY: THE NAKED TRUTH

Yesterday I said I was sick of Oprah whining about her weight. I said I was sick of whining about my weight. Dieting and diet addiction is a hard thing to break. We are bombarded by images of women who seemingly are happier because they are thinner. They are having better sex. Their kids are more well behaved. Their clothes are cleaner. All because they are thinner....WOW! So here I come armed with enough self confidence to fill a football stadium and still I buckle under the pressure to achieve thinness. Sure I say all the right things....health, energy, long life. But really it is about self image. Underneath...the naked truth.

Most times I am not affected by how I look. I still feel like I got swagger. But when I start to compare myself to (insert: Sister-Friends, Blood-Sister, Movie Stars, Rock Stars, Models and Jabba-The-Hut--Star Wars) The diet addiction kicks in. I start plotting and dreaming and imagining how much better my life will be if I lose weight.

What kills me is that I have so many interest that hold my attention that when I get stuck on stupid it drives me nuts. I know better. My worth is not tied to a size. My ability to get dates or be in love or run a business, or raise kids, has next to nothing to do with my size. Unless I am talking about the size of my heart! So I am going to continue to discern my feelings about my weight as I create and adhere to an exercise plan that lovingly makes me feel energized!

Continuing this conversation today on:

Lovebabz LoveTalk

The Naked Truth:

Discerning Our Issues With Weight

12:30pm est

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SHUT UP OPRAH!

Let me start by saying I LOVE Oprah! There is no one better on daytime TV. She has done a great deal of good in the world. But I am sick and tired of her whining about her weight!

I am sick and tired of whining about my weight too! The time I use up on this planet worrying about weight issues...when to eat...what to eat..how to eat and knowing full well there are people starving...not a continent away...but here in my city. Really this is about perspective. This is about having TOO MUCH! I have wasted time crying and fretting and losing sleep about being round...being fat...being anything other than happy. Do I really believe I would be happier thinner? Do I really believe all my problems stem from being fat? Come on. If a man loves me...he loves me...in this body...not some body in the future. But here's the real deal...I GOTTA LOVE ME IN THIS BODY...NOW!

Yes, having high blood pressure is a very dangerous and serious thing. But If I came at this weight loss issue from a health perspective and not a vanity perspective then this problem is managed and or eradicated. See I am really really really sick of thinking and whining and plotting and planning about dieting. So I am just going to eat less...move more that's it! Periodically I will post where I am in my progress over the next year. I am joining the likes of my new found blog sister, Leslie J. Ansley, The Daily Crouton who is tracking her weight loss for a year. She is inspiring!

So Shut Up Oprah about your weight. Deal with what's really underneath your weight gain and be happy. Damn.

HELPING HAND...AN AWARD

Thanks to my blog Sister, Sista GP for graciously and unexpectedly bestowing this award on me! It is no secret that I LOVE presents and awards are just that!

Yes I will happily and lovingly pass it on...later! Right now its hanging on my blog wall.

FAITH FORWARD FRIDAY: I CAN WAIT

I had a date. A real date. As dates goes it was OK. He seemed like a nice man...a bit self absorbed.. a bit arrogant...and superficial. All that is fine. I am not pressed by it. But I realized, I AM NOT READY TO DATE!

See as he was sitting there talking about him...all about him. I realized I was not excited. I didn't feel fun. He did not peak my interest. Perhaps I am being too finicky. But there is something to getting a vibe on someone. There is something to being open to new possibilities. But I am not interested in being glib, acting like a pageant queen, careful as to how I present. Over thinking my comments. I am just not ready. Truly.

I have all that I need. Great Sister-friends. A best friend (RT) who I hang out with once a month over drinks & dinner. I am getting comfortable in my aloness...my uncoupled state. I think I wanted some steamy sexy tryst(s). I thought I wanted mindless, unemotional, disconnected sexual encounters....I do not. I want sex. I want sex in a thoughtful, loving way.

I can wait.

I can wait. Wait for the love that I need and desire. I can wait on committed sex. I can wait on intimacy and loveship.

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PELOSI -VS- OBAMA

THE REAL FIGHT

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