Monday, September 16, 2013

Tank - I Can't Make You Love Me [Official Music Video]


Betrayal is a  deeply soul retching thing.  Betrayal opens the flood gate for doubt, insecurity and distrust. You immediately have to run through your history with that person recalling all the moments that things felt wrong or off, but you didn't quite explain where the difference was. So you brush off what you intuitively know...

The people closest to you carry the biggest knives and have the ability to drive that knife deep into your heart.  It is never sharp and fast, it's always a little plunging at a time... over time. If they could hurt you quickly you could recover quickly.  But it never is quick, easy or painless. 

I have always said anything can be forgiven, but that doesn't mean you have to stay.  Forgiving doesn't mean condoning anything. Forgiveness frees you from carry the weight of someone Else's fucked up choice.  Getting past their bullshit of explaining how you got to this sad and painful place. This dreadful time is indeed an opportunity for growth.  Some people grow stronger, closer and more in tune.  And for me, I grow up and grow on.

I cannot live with doubt and distrust.

I will not live with doubt, distrust, fear and disrespect.

It is my thought to share this with my oldest daughter as she maneuvers her way through dating and connecting with someone.  She is making herself available to someone who keeps going back and forth between her and another girl.  it is painful to witness. She is like a puppy in the pet store... eyes wide open  CHOOSE ME! CHOOSE ME! OH PLEASE CHOOSE ME!  I know this feeling of wanting to be chosen and no matter what you do, the object of your misguided desire will not choose you.  And if by chance they do, it is only because their object of desire has also made a different choice and you are second best... 1st runner up.

In the words of Bonnie Raitt... I can't make you love me, as sung by Tank (for the young Hipster set)

2 comments:

Moanerplicity said...


'I Can't MAKE You Love Me... If You Don't...' were there ever any truer words than these?

Bonnie wrote it & she righteously kills it, no doubt. But Tank's version slays as it sensitively claws its way into my most human of areas.

Oh... about betrayal. I'll simply leave this quote:

"I began the process of unloving you that day… unloving you for the sly and uncaring way you were betraying us. More than this, I began to un-love you for being a stranger to everything my mind and heart had erected you to be."

~from Like Litter in the Wind by L.M. Ross



One.


Big Mark 243 said...

I love Moaner's quote but I wonder how much experience did that wisdom cost..?

I, too, fear for my daughters... even more as they grow into their teens and begin to expand their circles and their emotions begin to grow...