Monday, September 16, 2013
Tank - I Can't Make You Love Me [Official Music Video]
Betrayal is a deeply soul retching thing. Betrayal opens the flood gate for doubt, insecurity and distrust. You immediately have to run through your history with that person recalling all the moments that things felt wrong or off, but you didn't quite explain where the difference was. So you brush off what you intuitively know...
The people closest to you carry the biggest knives and have the ability to drive that knife deep into your heart. It is never sharp and fast, it's always a little plunging at a time... over time. If they could hurt you quickly you could recover quickly. But it never is quick, easy or painless.
I have always said anything can be forgiven, but that doesn't mean you have to stay. Forgiving doesn't mean condoning anything. Forgiveness frees you from carry the weight of someone Else's fucked up choice. Getting past their bullshit of explaining how you got to this sad and painful place. This dreadful time is indeed an opportunity for growth. Some people grow stronger, closer and more in tune. And for me, I grow up and grow on.
I cannot live with doubt and distrust.
I will not live with doubt, distrust, fear and disrespect.
It is my thought to share this with my oldest daughter as she maneuvers her way through dating and connecting with someone. She is making herself available to someone who keeps going back and forth between her and another girl. it is painful to witness. She is like a puppy in the pet store... eyes wide open CHOOSE ME! CHOOSE ME! OH PLEASE CHOOSE ME! I know this feeling of wanting to be chosen and no matter what you do, the object of your misguided desire will not choose you. And if by chance they do, it is only because their object of desire has also made a different choice and you are second best... 1st runner up.
In the words of Bonnie Raitt... I can't make you love me, as sung by Tank (for the young Hipster set)