...Then I have to do something different. I have to think differently. I have to act differently.
Hope is not an action plan. Yes, hope has it's place, but hope is not enough. All that I need to do rests in my heart and mind. I must spur myself into action. I am spending too much time depending on external forces to motivate me. I am not against that. I am a believer that I must keep my spirit stirred up. I must stay in that place of moving forward. What I am lamenting is my inaction or half-assed action on matters that I say are of meaning to me. Oh this is starting to sound like whining. I hate whining.
Here's my deal: I have great goals, plans and dreams. I am implementing a great many of them, but I am stuck on others. There is real fear deep inside of me. I thought I was done with being afraid. I am learning that some fear is good and other fear paralyzing.
I know how to press on, but I swear I am stuck. its the kind of stuck that traps all the good ideas and good goals that I say matter to me. Shit. This is whining. OK maybe I need to whine to make myself sick of it and then just press on. Press on without thinking. And when I say press on without thinking, I mean not over-analyze my steps. I am so good at talking myself out of a good thing. This is where I find my stuck-ness. My fine mind has become a tool of the enemy UUGGHH! My mind is working against me and I am letting it. I am doing too much thinking and not enough DOING!
If I want something to be different.... I gotta think differently. It requires paying attention to the garbage that creeps in and starts dueling with my power thoughts. Why am I willing to event have this internal fight? I know better don't I?
It is all in the choosing. I have to be deliberate in choosing to be focused, steadfast and motivated. I dropped the ball this morning. But I can absolutely pick it back up and press on. The day doesn't have to be lost because I went to bed with a plan and got up this morning and didn't execute it. The day isn't lost. That's the new thinking right there that is required. How did I loss sight of this?