Tuesday, May 29, 2012

If I Want Something To Be Different.....

...Then I have to do something different.  I have to think differently.  I have to act differently.

Hope is not an action plan.  Yes, hope has it's place, but hope is not enough.  All that I need to do rests in my heart and mind.  I must spur myself into action.  I am spending too much time depending on external forces to motivate me.  I am not against that.  I am a believer that I must keep my spirit stirred up.  I must stay in that place of moving forward.  What I am lamenting is my inaction or half-assed action on matters that I say are of meaning to me.  Oh this is starting to sound like whining.  I hate whining.

Here's my deal:  I have great goals, plans and dreams.  I am implementing a great many of them, but I am stuck on others.  There is real fear deep inside of me.  I thought I was done with being afraid.  I am learning that some fear is good and other fear paralyzing.

I know how to press on, but I swear I am stuck.  its the kind of stuck that traps all the good ideas and good goals that I say matter to me.  Shit.  This is whining.  OK maybe I need to whine to make myself sick of it and then just press on.  Press on without thinking.  And when I say press on without thinking, I mean not over-analyze my steps.  I am so good at talking myself out of a good thing.  This is where I find my stuck-ness.  My fine mind has become a tool of the enemy UUGGHH!   My mind is working against me and I am letting it.  I am doing too much thinking and not enough DOING!

If I want something to be different.... I gotta think differently.  It requires paying attention to the garbage that creeps in and starts dueling with my power thoughts.  Why am I willing to event have this internal fight?  I know better don't I?

It is all in the choosing.  I have to be deliberate in choosing to be focused, steadfast and motivated.  I dropped the ball this morning.  But I can absolutely pick it back up and press on. The day doesn't have to be lost because I went to bed with a plan and got up this morning and didn't execute it.  The day isn't lost.  That's the new thinking right there that is required.  How did I loss sight of this?


BigmacInPittsburgh said...

Fear or favor?
I think about how I was blessed in the pass,when fear creeps in and I asked myself did the creator bless me to fail?
No with every blessing or favor comes a time for us to make a decison about letting go of something.

Big Mark 243 said...

You are what you want and you are what it is you do...

There is no separation. I think that many people fail to understand that if they feel less than good about themselves and their life, that many times it is not a matter of faith or circumstance as much as it is a matter of who they are.

You have already been and done so much in your life that the lessons should be ground in your memory... go to your successes and learn from them... they hold the answers and you simply need to implement them in your life...