I love when I remember to just be still and listen for God. God is always speaking, I am not always listening. When I go to prayer with a question or an issue or seeking resolution or more clarity, I remind myself to do it in a bold way, but not desperate. Desperation makes you blind and deaf. You can neither see or hear a blessing when you are drowning in your own despair.
The answers come at the most opportune time... just when I think I am at the end of my rope viola! a blessing appears, moving me further down life's roads. The woman I am today is far from that troubled young woman of years ago. Oh I still have a tough time minding my emotions, but I am not angry or mad about things and people and the world. I am hitting a stride that I like.
I am learning to take everything to prayer. I have learned that God can and does handle it all.
My prayers these days are often more focused and less about me. I am wooed by a quiet evening and the stillness of the late hours. I am hitting a stride that I like.
The challenges of my life are still hanging around and periodically I wave to them. But for the most part that sense of desperation I used to feel about my life and accomplishments are slowly drifting away. I don't even have the desire to have long deep conversations with folks. And it's not that I can't. I just know that most people just want to tell you their position, or tell you what they think is right, or bait you into some argument because they have some point to make or axe to grind. Besides people do what they want to do anyway and so I love them and leave them to their own designs.
I have been keeping my own counsel. I have adopted that habit years ago. It is just now starting to serve me well. People will offer you all kinds of advice that have very little or nothing at all to do with your life. People project their own fears onto advice and want you to do with your life what they cannot do in theirs. It's like taking swimming advice from someone who doesn't swim! Or relationship advice from someone NOT in a healthy, happy sane relationship! I trust myself in God's care. I am the best one to slay my dragons. I am the one on the white steed!
Oh yes, I am transitioning again. I am hitting a stride that I like.