I came across this piece "I want a life of a million lovers" written by Brentan Schellenbach over at elephantjournal
I was struck by how it gives shape and structure to feelings I have been wrestling with for a good while now. And since the break-up with The Potential Mr. Babz I have been looking at how I love and make love. Perhaps he and I should've remained friends with benefits... perhaps we should've just been friends... however we were never that ever. we were always lovers...always passionate lovers at that. I am walking through my love life and seeing where I am and what do I want. I have lived long enough to have a good idea of who I am. I've had a lot of great sex in my life and I want to continue to have great sex, but how? Clearly I don't want to go back down the relationship rabbit hole and be talked to death about my lack of communication skills. And I certainly don't want to hear how too busy I am for a serious relationship. And my one solid man-woman friendship with my BFF Ron thrives and succeeds. We've been friends for well over 25 years without ever having sex. Not once... not even flirting. So anyway, this piece stopped me in my tracks and called me to discern this for myself in my own life. I have sent it around to friends for their thoughts... I have had deep discussions with a few FB folks who are relationship gurus and dating experts. I don't know what I hope to find, or hear. I just know for whatever reasons I've not been good at finding someone who likes sex as much as I do who has their own life and interests and is not looking for me to be their mother, or bank, or baby-sitter, or therapist, or moral compass.
I am going to explore this a bit more over the next couple of weeks. It speaks to me and I want to know why.