This isn't a beat down post on myself. This is a confession. A real truth telling. This is being naked. I am LAZY. I procrastinate. I am watching my life go by like I am a spectator in the stands. I have started more projects and finished so few. Weight-loss programs, plans, diets. Organization plans, De-cluttering, eat better, moderation in all things.
I am still afraid. I am still self doubting. I cast my vote against myself. I keep waiting for the right moment. I want someone else to come and rescue me. I am waiting for a fairy God-mother. I need pixie dust. I live for the fantasy because my real life is shit. This is where I am living in the realm of fear, self-doubt and cowardliness. It is exhausting.
DUH! I know better when I look at it...my life that is. I realize that I must constantly remind myself of what I want to do and move toward it. Wallowing gets me nowhere. I am at the age where my friends and folks I know are dying off. I am 48 and that is close to 50. I gotta get on my grind and make my life what I want and need it to be. More joy, love, peace and happiness doesn't happen by wishing. Action! Doing it! Just Do It! That's got to be the constant drive.
I had way too many epiphanies. I have accomplished a lot. I know what love is. I can't afford to forget where I've been. Tis the Season of miracles and I am the miracle! I am going into 2012 with a jump start attitude of getting it done and it starts today!
So here's my first resolution:
- I am done with being lazy and procrastinating. What I need to get done I will get done PRONTO! No more putting off for later, or getting around to it. NOW!