Thursday, January 6, 2011


 In thinking about where I am in my life---This is what I have learned: When someone criticizes you at every turn for everything you do, think, believe and feel...they are not talking to you or about you. Their drama is inner turmoil and unhappiness. You are reflecting back to them their lack of drive, determination and boldness. Pray for them, wish them well and keep your head up. This life ain't no dress rehearsal for a better one coming along. None of Us has time to waste pondering foolishness, let alone someone's warped opinion of what we ought to be doing in our lives.  Look at the source.  Is what they are saying working in their own lives.  That's always the truth serium.  Is the shit they talk... the shit they walk?

Yes there are folks who can criticise you, and in love you can hear what they have to say. You can listen with an open heart to those folks who have paid their dues to be in your company.  They have been with you in the trenches and low times.  They haven't just shown up for the good times and feel like they have the authority to berate you about the choices you've made.  No sir!  Back up! Hold UP! 

Every encounter, every interaction with another person, is designed to teach us something.  There is a lesson in every story.  Sometimes we have to go back to move forward.  Sometimes when we get what we asked for, we find out that's not what we need or want at all.  Sometimes, the drama is just what we need to click the light bulb on to tell us, you can and must do better than this mess. Turn around and move in an entirely new direction.

So thank you unfriend, for breaking my heart, trying to break my spirit, using my kindness against me, and allowing me to see fully and honestly that I am better than what you have to offer on your best day.


Her Side said...

Yes!! What better way to start a new year than forgiving all unfriend's behavior because they actually served a required role in our lives.

Sometimes, the truth in what we learn develops over time, but some things just smack us in the face. I remember hearing, 'We never make great strides in development with our friends. Our friends rarely push us to test our limits. It's the foe who presses us to fight... to expand... to grow... to reach. Friends are there to bring joy during the journey.'

I raise my wine glass with a hearty cheer to the unfriends who've crossed my path. I needed each and every one of you to get this far, and I'll need a few more to press on.

Tomorrow, I'll raise my wine glass to the beautiful and blessed friends who make this journey worth while. :-)

Happy New Year!

Lovebabz said...

Hey Her Side!

What a grand statement you make! I raise my glass in solidarity! Cheers to all our Unfriends!

Happy New Year indeed!

Moanerplicity said...

There's TOO much TRUTH in this entry, my Sista. It reminds me of something I penned a while back about the mofos (used the real phrase) in this life & how they ain't really about ish but bringing others down & keeping them down.

The victory becomes ours once we can decipher the good ish from the whack ish, the real deal from the fake meal, the helpful/productive critique from the str8-up haterationality.

Some of this stuff would have very helpful & tres handy to have with us when we are younger, but it tends to come later on in our adult journey. But that's cool... just as long as we LEARN it, apply it & keep it movin, it's all good.

Wishing You a Very Happy & Most Righteous New Year, Sista Dear!