I am in a funk. And so it has begun. A real sense of uneasiness and a longing for something else.. What I know for sure is that whatever has begun in my spirit...sadness, anger, fear, unhappiness is robbing me of my joy. I gotta face it head on. Running away from shit when it's hard is not the answer. It only keeps me in the struggle. It only keeps the difficulty swirling about. It keeps me focused on the difficulty, but not in a solution focused way.
Acknowledging my weary blues and allowing them to pass on through is the answer. Not wallowing in the mire of uneasiness and unhappiness. I mean why? I am happier when I am happy. There are days when the smallest of things brings me great pleasure. Days when the sound of my children's voices are the loveliest thing I 've heard all day. Then there are days when the lows are treacherous. They surround me and I am free-falling backwards, grasping to hold on to regain my balance but never actually getting ahold of anything.
I am everywhere in my thoughts. I am in love with no one and the world knows it. I am a malcontent in this moment. Yesterday was the beginning of low spirits and today it is so and tomorrow, I think I will let it go. I am done running. I know I am still moving toward the END...Entirely New Direction.
This is my letting all this shit end. This is how I am moving forward. Allowing the pain to come on. COME ON! And I am going to feel all of it and then Baby I am letting it END! Yes! I am ending my long-standing affair with pain, fear and unhappiness.
I'll be back on Monday with a new sense of self and a plan of marching strong to my dreams!