Saturday, May 13, 2017

And I Shall Have Everything

"I'd like you to do less"

And just as I heard this, it was like I walked through another door that has been waiting on me to come thru. I don't fully understand what "do less" means, and I have no intentions of finding out in my everyday practical life. And I certainly have no interest in exploring the thought further with questions. But what I can do is acquiesce to the request.

I do think the statement means less me..Which also means less love and less living. It means, my dreams can't be and should not be tied to the dreams of other folks who don't understand shared destiny. You are welcome to want less... Do less... Have less... I, however want more. And I get to define "more".

What I have been doing is dreaming of a life outside of my own for someone else. Isn't that what all lovers and mother's do? "I'd like you to do less" becomes it's own stop and go sign. A way to redirect some of my energies away from, and back toward something else. Isn't this how break-ups begin?

As I turn this little statement inward and begin deconstructing it for myself. I am reminded of what I know for sure... I am a woman in transition. I live with the understanding that situations are always changing. I am always changing. As I age, I welcome this understanding that my self worth does not rest in the smallness of others. I don't understand less, because I have never aspired to less.

The gift of less is a redirection of my attention and my heart toward matters that grow and expand me. What looks like crazy on an ordinary day is simply not the entire truth. I have come to realize I love my cart full. There is no one thing I want... I WANT EVERYTHING!

And I shall have everything!






1 comment:

Big Mark 243 said...

Whew..! You had me going there for a second... this was the longest "drought" of confidence I have read in this journal for a long time, if ever..!

I think about you often, mainly because of the Even Hotel that I pass on my way to work... if you recall, it is the hotel chain that specializes in providing fitness facilities for its guests... and I think that the first one that I became aware of was located in Connecticut..!

You are a part of my intimate thoughts... meaning that I think of you as you were a regular, if not every day, part of my life... I hope that you are well and that the love that you believe is destined for you IS destined for you ..!