I knew I wasn't going to march into Lent with a plan. I am spiritually tired of the politics of the day. What does this mean? I am known for keeping a spiritual center and at the moment I am out of spiritual sorts. Actually, I am good and damn mad and I don't know how to make space for my anger and God. Oh, I know God can handle my anger. God is bigger than my imagination and anger.
This anger is twisted up with a whole lot of things that need to be unraveled. Children, money, health, lovers, community, and work. The politics of the day has upturned the apple cart and as I go to pick up the apples, I find there are oranges, and lemons and bananas and melons all spilled out. So I stand there lamenting the mess.
This is the state of my spiritual wellbeing. Looking at God with all this mess spilled out. How many times can I keep picking up my stuff off the ground? Weariness. Anger. Gawd, it's still Lent, compounding my angst. Like now, I didn't even want to write a post about lamenting Lent. Which isn't really about lamenting Lent...Just my current spiritual desert that is happening in the season of Lent.
What to do? Asking what to do is a good sign for me... Denotes hope! There is still a spiritual mustard seed within.
Now to find my spiritual joy.