TRUE LOVE TUESDAY: HOPE IS NOT A STRATEGY

It is not enough to make resolutions and not put any action behind your best intentions. We all can talk a good game, but what are we willing to do to win the game? Oh I am a great talker. And sometimes I am a great doer...sometimes I say. There are moments that I just wish, hope, pray and then sit. Sit as in do nothing. Now I am one for being still. I am one for letting the hand of God move through-in and throughout my life. I am not talking about being still. I am talking about not getting my hustle on. Not seizing the day...Carpe Diem...NOT!

Hope is not a strategy. Worrying is not a strategy. Doling out excuses is not a strategy. There is success to be had but it must be earned and tended to. I am not suggesting there is some universal success. And I am not suggesting that we keep up with the Joneses or model ourselves after celebrities. We each have to design our own models of success and work toward them with joy and determination.

Lovebabz LOVETALK

Tuesday January 13, 2009

12:30 pm est Call In 718-766-4895 or click link to listen

WELCOMING Yolanda Shoshana "Shoshi", The Luscious Lifestyle Diva as today's guest. The Luscious Life is about leaving behind the good enough life for a life that feeds you and leaves you full. It is living your life by design and not by default. The Luscious Life is about YOU unleashing yourself to have fun, feel fierce, and to be luscious! http://www.lusciouslifestylediva.com/ http://www.yolandashoshana.blogspot.com/

DONE WITH CRUMBS....

One of the great things about the new year is taking stock of last year's behaviors. Looking back on last years feelings I have come to realize that I settled for so little from people. My expectations were high but what I accepted was so little...crumbs.

If I am honest with my feelings and my actions about accepting crumbs then I have to confess to being afraid to ask for more. AFRAID TO ASK FOR MORE! Because when you ask for more you run the risk of hearing there isn't more to give or worse...I don't want to give you more. Oh that is painful. And so I accepted crumbs because crumbs seem better than nothing....right? WRONG WRONG WRONG AS THE DAY IS LONG LONG LONG!

Aha! I know better. I will do better. I will be better. Back to the basics...back to square one:

1. I AM WORTHY OF TIME BEING SPENT WITH!
2. I AM AN AMAZING WOMAN!
3. I AM SMART. WITTY. AND CHARMING!
4. I AM NOT ACCEPTING CRUMBS. FROM ANYONE. AT ANY TIME. ANYMORE!

THE BLACK GIRL NEXT DOOR...A MEMOIR

INTRODUCING MY SISTER-FRIEND JB!

Jennifer Baszile is the one I speak lovingly about ALL THE TIME! She is the consummate Sista/girl-friend. Always there with a band-aid, kind words and VEGAN BAKED GOODS!

She has a new book out The Black Girl Next Door and I hope you will love it as much as I do! It is a MUST READ! Yes I will review it for February...my favorite month dedicated to love and I LOVE HER! So go out and pick this up...you will love it!

Check out the New York Times Review & the LA Times Review

IT'S ALL THE WAY LIVE!

I am not rushing into anything. I am purposeful in all my endeavors. I am purposeful in my loveships and friendships. I am purposeful in my living. That is my only commitment to myself that I be purposeful and authentic.

I cannot afford the wasting of time. Each moment is my moment. Each day that I am blessed I am given 24 hours to manifest good things. That's how I see it. I am not interested in fear, or unhappiness or waiting in vain for some one's love and attention. I am using all 24 hours to the best of my ability. Even if it doesn't look like that to other folks standing outside of my life. I am living my life. I am breaking old habits. I am being smarter about who I allow in my life. I am being more deliberate in my pursuit of happiness. And I am laughing!

My blog Sister MizRepresent was inspired to call a few us together to share in her vision of creating a way to share what we know to help and support others to Live Their Best Lives. Yes we are taking our cues from Oprah and we are owning our lives and our happiness. Every Wednesday we will be speaking from our place of experiences and sharing our stories. We hope you will join us and be inspired too! Miz has pulled together some of the most talented and authentic folks I have ever seen in the blogsphere. I am just happy to be a part of the team!

Raw Dawg Buffalo Radio is turning into quite the round table to be at on Thursday nights! Working with Torrance Stephens, PhD., and Kelso is a true pleasure. I am having the time of my life. Tonight's topic: What Does A Man Want In A Woman. 11:00pm est call in 347-324-5722 I may be screaming!

Lovebabz LoveTalk is truly a dream come true! I am so loving my 45 minutes on Tuesdays at 12:30pm est. I get to focus on things that are near and dear to my heart...LOVE! So tune in...I have some FABULOUS guest coming up who have great insight into creating the lives of our dreams!

I am still walking on the wild erotic side with The Pussy Chats. The amount of talented folks who contribute is mind-blowing. It is eroticism for Grown folks. We are not gratuitous or nasty. We are adult, and it is the kind of stuff that while it is titillating, it is not objectifying men or women...OK not that much. Capcity and I are very mindful of the content. It is for me a delight and a guilty pleasure! If nothing else, come over and listen to our fabulous play list!

Oh yes I have more cooking on the stove and will serve it up hot when it's done! I am owning 2009! The World is MINE!

TRUE LOVE TUESDAY: A WOMAN'S SWAGGER IS CONFIDENCE

My Blog Brother Clnmike is writing a series of posts called deal breakers...things that he just can't abide in dating women. Deal Breaker #5 Low-Self Esteem, caught me on the chin...like a sucker punch.

Now I do not believe I have low self esteem. I confess I have been stupid in relationships and dating and so on (pre & post marriage). And I have been out of the game for well over a decade...but what struck me at about his post is that I have heard and seen women operate from a place of low self esteem that makes me want to smack them up side the head (no not advocating violence against anyone) but still.

If you constantly ask a man if you look fat in anything...eventually he will see what you are pointintg out. If you drag a man shopping and think that is couple time...think again. If you pout and whine because a man has "Guys Night Out" get a life and some Girlfriends and get out. If sports is his thing and you schedule competing activities you will lose...every time. If you have to check his whereabouts 50 millions times a day that is NOT CONFIDENT. If you have to spy his cellphone...NOT CONFIDENT. If you sit at home waiting for him to call you and he doesn't and you make excuses for him...NOT CONFIDENT!

If a man digs you he will call you. He will want to have sex with you. He will want to spend time with you. If he says he is busy...that is code for...I AM NOT FEELING YOU! Get over it and move on. If a man wants to be with you he will find a way to be with you. YOU CANNOT WIN OVER A MAN WHO IS NOT FEELING YOU. NOR CAN YOU WHINE YOUR WAY INTO HIS HEART.

Confidence is knowing who you are in the body you have right now. It is being delighted with the what is. It is living in this moment and not wishing...hoping ...praying for tomorrow. Confidence is speaking your mind and not being afraid of what "He" might think. Confidence is being authentic. Confidence is WALKING THE EARTH LIKE YOU MEAN IT!

I am checking my swagger. It is easy to let your confidence slide when you meet someone you think might be "The ONE" but really that is the time when you need every ounce of confidence. That is the time that you have to be yourself. It is your authenticity that will speak to someone's spirit.

I am talking about Confidence today on Lovebabz LOVETALK 12:30pm est
Call in or listen 718-766-4895

2009 THE WORLD IS MINE!

2009 THE WORLD IS MINE!

I got an invitation to a party from my Sister-friend Sharon...Just Write Now! And the first thing you saw on the invitation was 2009 THE WORLD IS MINE! It just spoke to me. So that is my MANTRA!

It is lovely to be back on my trusty steed...my blog! 2008 was wonderful. I meet some fine folks in blog land! I mean some I love with all my heart and soul! Last year it was all about Love and Happiness. I had some resolutions...about 10. I have learned that there are no hard and fast rules about resolutions. I try to keep it simple. I use them as road maps. A way to stay focused on what I say is important to me. Not a way to measure success or measure how poorly I am doing. No. It is about finding my own truths and making room for what is. Making room for what is!

So what am I up for in 2009? EVERYTHING! MORE LOVE...JOY...LAUGHTER...GREAT MEALS...GOOD FRIENDS...CRUSHES...ROMANCE...MOTHERING...EVERYTHING HEAVEN WILL ALLOW!

So this blog is my solace...my place to grow...think...ponder...discern..and share my life. I am up for it. I am renewed and confident. I am fearless. I am bold. I am eager and ready for 2009...right now!

If I love you....and I do...you already know it and you will feel it from now on! In every breath... with every thought... with every hello and good bye. With every thing in me... you will know that I love you...fully and deeply.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRIANA!

WISHING MY BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

SHE IS 12 YEARS OLD TODAY!

Dearest ,

I want you to know that I loved you before the moment the door opened and there you stood. I know your Dad loves to tell you this story of how he felt. But I wanted to tell you mine. I knew when we got the call and they sent over the photo that you were my kid. Your picture stirred my heart and I knew I was prepared to do anything and everything to bring you home to us.

I love the way you are growing up. I admire your kind and generous spirit. I love the way you will persevere. You taught yourself to ride a bike, to do cartwheels, to draw, and so many other things. You are soft spoken, but strong and unafraid. I like that about you. I like that you can turn things around and make something out of nothing. I like that you are learning to go your own way and not listen too much to friends.

I am proud of you. I admire you. I love you with all my heart and soul. There is no one like you in all of the world. You are the best and I am so very blessed that GOD chose me to be your mother.

Happiest of Birthdays!

Love,

Mom