I am guilty of putting obstacles in my own way. When I know I have to do something hard, sometimes I resist. I resist with doing every other thing than the very thing I ought to be doing. Feel me. Self analysis is like that. Taking a long hard look at your life and getting to your truths is hard.
If it were easy so many folks wouldn't be running from their lives...hearts...minds. We wander around not quite connecting the dots from I know who I am to I know what I want. We don't dare ask the hard questions because we don't want the answers. We would rather allow the world to tell us falsely who we are and what we should have. We carry false notions of success and we are too much for the romantic side of love and not enough for the realities of love.
So who is in charge of your happiness? Who's in charge of your heart's desires? Who's in charge of your health? Who's in charge of your life. These are ongoing questions. They do not end when we find ourselves in loveships, marriages, trysts, affairs. They become even more important when are connected to another. Love allows us to grow in partnership. Love allows for continued tending of our own happiness. When I am happy in myself then I come to the loveship already happy. I walk the world already happy.
If it were easy all our loveships would be peaceful and harmonious. I am looking hard and lovingly at my life. What obstacles are in my way...real or imagined that keeps me from my heart's desires?
Showing posts with label 2009 THE WORLD IS MINE. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 2009 THE WORLD IS MINE. Show all posts
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Monday, May 11, 2009
WHO ARE YOU? AND WHAT DO YOU WANT?
There comes a point in all our lives that we ask these questions: Who are you? and what do you want? However, the biggest challenge isn't solely in the asking, it is in the answering. We meander along hoping to bump into love, affection, success, support, friendships, jobs, etc. What we fail to realize is that all the things we want, desire, and need require us to be authentic in wanting, desiring and needing.
When we don't know who we are, we can't expect anyone to give us what we want, desire, and need. When we can't articulate our deepest longings, it puts unfair expectations on our lovers, friends, family and those in our circle who love us. They don't know how to be with us when we are ourselves don't know either.
I have learned that my happiness is my responsibility. No one can make you happy. What they can do is enhance your already happy heart and mind. Happiness is a state of being...grace...optimism. Our lives are too precious to treat like laundry or dirty dishes...I'll get round to it...when I am happy.
Who are you? and what do you want? is often pushed so deep down that we can barely hear the questions until crisis erupts, until relationships reach breaking point, until we are so sad and lost in our spirit that we are almost resigned to live with the sadness.
Each of us has to ask and answer our own Who are You? and What do You want? I am asking these very same questions, allowing the spirit in my life to move me forward as I answer them with care and clarity.
Who are YOU? and what do YOU want?
When we don't know who we are, we can't expect anyone to give us what we want, desire, and need. When we can't articulate our deepest longings, it puts unfair expectations on our lovers, friends, family and those in our circle who love us. They don't know how to be with us when we are ourselves don't know either.
I have learned that my happiness is my responsibility. No one can make you happy. What they can do is enhance your already happy heart and mind. Happiness is a state of being...grace...optimism. Our lives are too precious to treat like laundry or dirty dishes...I'll get round to it...when I am happy.
Who are you? and what do you want? is often pushed so deep down that we can barely hear the questions until crisis erupts, until relationships reach breaking point, until we are so sad and lost in our spirit that we are almost resigned to live with the sadness.
Each of us has to ask and answer our own Who are You? and What do You want? I am asking these very same questions, allowing the spirit in my life to move me forward as I answer them with care and clarity.
Who are YOU? and what do YOU want?
Saturday, May 2, 2009
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME: THE VIRTUAL COOKOUT!
CLICK ON ANY WORD AND IT WILL TAKE YOU TO THE VIRTUAL COOKOUT
I AM AN ORIGINAL OLD GIRL...THANKS DR. LADYLEE!
GO BY AND ENJOY!
OH AND DO READ EVERY BIT OF THE TRIBUTE TO ME!
WOO-HOO!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!
TODAY IS MY 46TH BIRTHDAY...I AM THRILLED BEYOND MEASURE!
I have partied all over the world on this day. I have danced on more bars than I care to recall. I have hugged more porcelain Goddesses than I care to talk about. I have shutdown more clubs than anyone could disclose. I have woken up with men who I couldn't pick out of a line-up...I HAVE PARTIED HONEY....HEARTY!
TODAY IS ABOUT FAMILY CELEBRATIONS...LOUNGING...QUIET AND RESTORATION.
THANK YOU TO LADYLEE...THE ORIGINAL OLD GIRL WHO CRAFTED THE MOST BEAUTIFUL CRIMSON & CREAM AFGHAN EVER! NOT ONLY THAT, BUT SHE PERSONALIZED A JOURNAL FOR ME TOO! AND SENT ME HOME MADE COOKIES THAT MY KIDS DEVOURED!
THE SONGS THAT HAVE BEEN SHARED WILL BE UP!. THANKS TO ALL WHO TOOK THE TIME TO THINK AND SHARE SONGS THAT EXPRESSED MY SPIRIT!
THERE IS A VIRTUAL COOK OUT AT LADYLEE...THE ORIGINAL OLD GIRL; THE ARTIST WHO CRAFTED THE AFGHAN!
ALL THE SONG DEDICATIONS WILL BE POSTED LATER!
THANK YOU PRINCESS TINY BUTT FOR THE ASSORTED ROSES! THANK YOU TO THE ANNOYMOUS GIVER OF THE TULIPS AND YELLOW ROSES!
THANK YOU JB FOR COORDINATING THE BREAKFAST PARTY WITH THE CHILDREN!
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY! I AM THRILLED!
I have partied all over the world on this day. I have danced on more bars than I care to recall. I have hugged more porcelain Goddesses than I care to talk about. I have shutdown more clubs than anyone could disclose. I have woken up with men who I couldn't pick out of a line-up...I HAVE PARTIED HONEY....HEARTY!
TODAY IS ABOUT FAMILY CELEBRATIONS...LOUNGING...QUIET AND RESTORATION.
THANK YOU TO LADYLEE...THE ORIGINAL OLD GIRL WHO CRAFTED THE MOST BEAUTIFUL CRIMSON & CREAM AFGHAN EVER! NOT ONLY THAT, BUT SHE PERSONALIZED A JOURNAL FOR ME TOO! AND SENT ME HOME MADE COOKIES THAT MY KIDS DEVOURED!
THE SONGS THAT HAVE BEEN SHARED WILL BE UP!. THANKS TO ALL WHO TOOK THE TIME TO THINK AND SHARE SONGS THAT EXPRESSED MY SPIRIT!
THERE IS A VIRTUAL COOK OUT AT LADYLEE...THE ORIGINAL OLD GIRL; THE ARTIST WHO CRAFTED THE AFGHAN!
ALL THE SONG DEDICATIONS WILL BE POSTED LATER!
THANK YOU PRINCESS TINY BUTT FOR THE ASSORTED ROSES! THANK YOU TO THE ANNOYMOUS GIVER OF THE TULIPS AND YELLOW ROSES!
THANK YOU JB FOR COORDINATING THE BREAKFAST PARTY WITH THE CHILDREN!
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY! I AM THRILLED! Saturday, April 25, 2009
LET THE BIRTHDAY COUNTDOWN BEGIN: I WANT
CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES COME ON!
My birthday is May 2nd! I will be 46 year's old! If you missed last year's festivities check the older posts...It was AMAZING! My blog fam graced me with poetry...finely crafted poetry. All moving and BEAUTIFUL! My intention is to bind them all into a personal book. Yes you can do that so easily these days.
This year I've got gifts coming..handcrafted gifts from bloggers who I adore and who have said we want to give you something special next year...well Baby its next year!
My birthday is a big deal...like Christmas and Valentine's day. I LOVE LOVE LOVE marking the passage of time. So what do I want this year? HHHMMM How about...MUSIC!
I WANT SONGS POSTED...LYRICS OF SONGS POSTED... THAT DESCRIBE ME OR VIBE ME! Think of me and think of a song that describes me...or how you feel about me...or what I've written or what you hope for me! I WILL POST EVERYTHING!
Email me your links...song selections...links to songs...lyrics to lovebabz@gmail.com
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!!
My birthday is May 2nd! I will be 46 year's old! If you missed last year's festivities check the older posts...It was AMAZING! My blog fam graced me with poetry...finely crafted poetry. All moving and BEAUTIFUL! My intention is to bind them all into a personal book. Yes you can do that so easily these days.
This year I've got gifts coming..handcrafted gifts from bloggers who I adore and who have said we want to give you something special next year...well Baby its next year!
My birthday is a big deal...like Christmas and Valentine's day. I LOVE LOVE LOVE marking the passage of time. So what do I want this year? HHHMMM How about...MUSIC!
I WANT SONGS POSTED...LYRICS OF SONGS POSTED... THAT DESCRIBE ME OR VIBE ME! Think of me and think of a song that describes me...or how you feel about me...or what I've written or what you hope for me! I WILL POST EVERYTHING!
Email me your links...song selections...links to songs...lyrics to lovebabz@gmail.com
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!!
Sunday, April 19, 2009
SICKNESS IS A GIFT: AN EPIPHANY
Long before I was sick for the last several days, I was haunted by the Van Morrison song When Will I Ever Learn To Live In God? It is a deep calling inside me. I have felt the pull of the divine my entire life. I have come far in grace. Even when my world came crashing down around me and so-called friends were jumping ship and the winds of loss...change...pain...doom were upon me. I knew in my heart of hearts I was not alone or forsaken.
In the midst of being sick this past week it became clear to me that I must renew my focus of spiritual awakening. To live with a full heart. I must be kinder to myself and to my heart. Being sick was a gift. I had an epiphany. It gave me a chance to think about what was truly important. I am important and must act accordingly. I have not wasted time. I have learned some lessons about my time and how to tune out the external voices and to listen to my voice.
When Will I Ever Learn To Live in GOD? RIGHT NOW. I am ushering in a new commitment to development of self. To live with a full heart. To continue to be joyful in my day. To surround myself with those that only know love and are interested in love. To be kind to myself and my spirit. Life isn't short. It is long enough to love fully. You live long enough to love deeply, grandly and beautifully...that is the lesson. It isn't about time, it is about love and inviting love to take root.
In the midst of being sick this past week it became clear to me that I must renew my focus of spiritual awakening. To live with a full heart. I must be kinder to myself and to my heart. Being sick was a gift. I had an epiphany. It gave me a chance to think about what was truly important. I am important and must act accordingly. I have not wasted time. I have learned some lessons about my time and how to tune out the external voices and to listen to my voice.
When Will I Ever Learn To Live in GOD? RIGHT NOW. I am ushering in a new commitment to development of self. To live with a full heart. To continue to be joyful in my day. To surround myself with those that only know love and are interested in love. To be kind to myself and my spirit. Life isn't short. It is long enough to love fully. You live long enough to love deeply, grandly and beautifully...that is the lesson. It isn't about time, it is about love and inviting love to take root.
When will I ever learn to live in God?
When will I ever learn?
He gives me everything I need and more
When will I ever learn?
Whatever it takes to fulfill his mission
That is the way we must go
But you've got to do it your own way
Tear down the old, bring up the new
....Van Morrison...
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
TRUE LOVE TUESDAY: LOVE TRUE
I do not like complicated things. My mind easily breaks down the most complicated things, scenarios, problems, challenges, dilemmas. I am not scientific in my thinking approach. I just tap into my high intuitive nature and more times than not I have a clear and precise answer. This is how its always been for me. The only time it fails me is when I ignore what I know and feel. There are a lot of folks who do not get how I am this way. Or more exactly, how I can be so emotional and feel everything. I am always always baffled how they cannot.
So this brings me to love and how in love, we are called to extend ourselves beyond what we think and trust in how we feel. Love does not ask us for perfection. Love does not asks to be convincing or defended or calculated. It asks us to love true. To be authentic and bold and brave. There is no certainty in anything other than death and taxes. Love for some can be fleeting and grand, ethereal and solid, loud and peaceful. For others love seems just out of reach. Out of reach because too much is placed on romantic love and stolen kisses, rather than the day to day embracing of another's spirit and shortcomings and humanity. Love requires faith. Bravery. And a willingness to let love in.
I am no scientist. I do not have all the answers. I am a transitioning woman...learning to maneuver in the world, only certain in my ability to love true.
So this brings me to love and how in love, we are called to extend ourselves beyond what we think and trust in how we feel. Love does not ask us for perfection. Love does not asks to be convincing or defended or calculated. It asks us to love true. To be authentic and bold and brave. There is no certainty in anything other than death and taxes. Love for some can be fleeting and grand, ethereal and solid, loud and peaceful. For others love seems just out of reach. Out of reach because too much is placed on romantic love and stolen kisses, rather than the day to day embracing of another's spirit and shortcomings and humanity. Love requires faith. Bravery. And a willingness to let love in.
I am no scientist. I do not have all the answers. I am a transitioning woman...learning to maneuver in the world, only certain in my ability to love true.
ON LOVETALK
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AFTER THE LENTEN JOURNEY
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Monday, April 13, 2009
I AM A WOMAN AND I AM AN ARTIST AND I KNOW WHERE MY VOICE BELONGS
My favorite blog Sister Kay C, The Quiet Storm had this amazing song posted on her blog last week in a post called The Last Of A Dying Breed...An Endangered Species and I was so BLOWN AWAY! I had to have it. Had to post here and let it speak for me. THANK YOU KAY C! You light my path!
Endangered Species - Dianne Reeves
I am an endangered species
But I sing no victim
I am a woman I am an artist
And I know where my voice belongs
I am a woman I exist
I shake my fist but not my hips
My skin is dark my body is strong
I sign of rebirth no victim
I am an endangered species
But I sing no victim
I am a woman I am an artist
And I know where my voice belongs
They cut out my sex they bind my feet
Silence my reflex no tongue to speak
I work in the fields I work in the store
I type up the deals and I mop the floors
I am an endangered species
But I sing no victim
I am a woman I am an artist
And I know where my voice belongs
My body is fertile I bring life about
Drugs, famine, and war, take them back out
My husband can beat me his right they say
And rape isn
I am an endangered species
But I sing no victim
I am a woman I am an artist
And I know where my voice belongs
I know where my soul belongs
I know where I belong
Endangered Species - Dianne Reeves
I am an endangered species
But I sing no victim
I am a woman I am an artist
And I know where my voice belongs
I am a woman I exist
I shake my fist but not my hips
My skin is dark my body is strong
I sign of rebirth no victim
I am an endangered species
But I sing no victim
I am a woman I am an artist
And I know where my voice belongs
They cut out my sex they bind my feet
Silence my reflex no tongue to speak
I work in the fields I work in the store
I type up the deals and I mop the floors
I am an endangered species
But I sing no victim
I am a woman I am an artist
And I know where my voice belongs
My body is fertile I bring life about
Drugs, famine, and war, take them back out
My husband can beat me his right they say
And rape isn
I am an endangered species
But I sing no victim
I am a woman I am an artist
And I know where my voice belongs
I know where my soul belongs
I know where I belong
Saturday, April 11, 2009
NO WARRANTY..."AS IS" BABY
I am on the upswing! I am feeling my stride. What was dark. bleak. sad. Is now joyous! Everywhere I look there's a rainbow. There's a rainbow because I say so. I believe so.
I am an optimist. I believe in the healing and restorative certainty of love. Not in the certainty of people, mind you. But in the power to motivate people with love and through love. Yes I would like to know that someone has my back...can fire a shot need be. But that speaks to trust. Trust is love in action...it says without question I will be there. It is not my word...but my doing. Everyone likes to ask What Would Jesus Do? But I say look what Jesus DID!
We are all frail and wounded and desperate. Love heals the broken places. Not lovers. I am my own gift. And I must remember to give myself back to myself when I am feeling lonely or sad or angry.
I cannot live up to any one's expectations. I am a woman in transition. I am a women born to love. My right now has to be good enough. And I believe in my heart that the right man will be drawn to my right now and will appreciate the "As Is" no warranty.
So here's my deal: You gotta take love the "As Is" Otherwise keep it moving, there's other cars out there, find one with the right warranty that you can live with. It's always about what you can live with.
I am an optimist. I believe in the healing and restorative certainty of love. Not in the certainty of people, mind you. But in the power to motivate people with love and through love. Yes I would like to know that someone has my back...can fire a shot need be. But that speaks to trust. Trust is love in action...it says without question I will be there. It is not my word...but my doing. Everyone likes to ask What Would Jesus Do? But I say look what Jesus DID!
We are all frail and wounded and desperate. Love heals the broken places. Not lovers. I am my own gift. And I must remember to give myself back to myself when I am feeling lonely or sad or angry.
I cannot live up to any one's expectations. I am a woman in transition. I am a women born to love. My right now has to be good enough. And I believe in my heart that the right man will be drawn to my right now and will appreciate the "As Is" no warranty.
So here's my deal: You gotta take love the "As Is" Otherwise keep it moving, there's other cars out there, find one with the right warranty that you can live with. It's always about what you can live with.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
TENDERNESS...AND THE BLOG MAKEOVER IS DONE!
For a long while I was mistaking kindness for tenderness...meaning as I was diligently saying I wanted someone who was kind. What I really meant was I want someone who is tender or better still, tender with me, showing tenderness toward me.
Oh I still have kindness and being kind at the top of my list. But tenderness is the front runner. It occurred to me that I want someone to extend themselves graciously on my behalf. To speak to me with a loving tone and joyous disposition. When I say I've had the most marvelous day, I don't want to be barked at about how everyday should be marvelous, or something to that effect. What I want to hear is how so...do tell tell, share with me about your marvelous day. See that is loving and tender.
I am a romantic who lives in the day to day world. I make every effort to see the bloom of the day as a miracle. I am not divorced from the problems of the world. I am not divorced from human suffering and frailty. But in my home and in my life the intimate details and the way I choose to think and feel are rooted in love and tenderness.
HOORAY THIS IS THE NEW LOOK OF THE BLOG! I LOVE IT! BUT IT IS A BITCH TO GO BACK AND ADD ALL MY WIDGETS AND SUCH! SO OVER THE NEXT FEW DAYS I WILL BE ADDING ALL MY FAMILIAR BUTTONS ETC. I LOVE LOVE LOVE ROSES!
Oh I still have kindness and being kind at the top of my list. But tenderness is the front runner. It occurred to me that I want someone to extend themselves graciously on my behalf. To speak to me with a loving tone and joyous disposition. When I say I've had the most marvelous day, I don't want to be barked at about how everyday should be marvelous, or something to that effect. What I want to hear is how so...do tell tell, share with me about your marvelous day. See that is loving and tender.
I am a romantic who lives in the day to day world. I make every effort to see the bloom of the day as a miracle. I am not divorced from the problems of the world. I am not divorced from human suffering and frailty. But in my home and in my life the intimate details and the way I choose to think and feel are rooted in love and tenderness.
HOORAY THIS IS THE NEW LOOK OF THE BLOG! I LOVE IT! BUT IT IS A BITCH TO GO BACK AND ADD ALL MY WIDGETS AND SUCH! SO OVER THE NEXT FEW DAYS I WILL BE ADDING ALL MY FAMILIAR BUTTONS ETC. I LOVE LOVE LOVE ROSES!
Monday, April 6, 2009
MY NEW ADVENTURE: PEACE. JOY. LOVE.
He: Babz you are dull.
Me. WHAT! Laugh. laugh. laugh. I've never been told that before...IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!
He: what adventures have you had?
Me: Oh Baby....Laugh laugh laugh! You have no idea. Laugh laugh LAUGH!
This little exchange stayed with me all through yesterday and this morning. It cracks me up. Seriously it cracks me UP! I am always stunned at folks' perception. Or their so called reality as a barometer for defining my experiences. I make no apologies for being "emotional" I like feeling everything in the world. I like knowing that things get to me...bother me...hurt me. I am not jaded by the darkness of the world. I still see beauty and joy knowing full well that evil lurks. I know what pain and suffering is. I do not have to look to India, Africa, or Louisiana to know it and yet I can look there too and do.
I have lived an amazing life. I have done things that have been unbelievable. I loved in ways most dream of. I have been places that have taken my breath away. If I died today it will be with few regrets. But since I am not dying today or at least not in this very moment. I am thinking solely about living.
I have had my share of FAST. HARD. UGLY. My new adventure is the pursuit of Peace. Joy. Love. The real revolution won't be some gun toting mobs trying to steal my stuff...that may happen. But really, the revolution will be choosing to love one another instead. Calling every man and woman and child family. I don't know if killing someone is easy. I only know what I have done in my own life and those choices were in the moment necessary. But seeing each person as your family, seeing each person as your responsibility, that takes more courage and guts and heart than any act of violence. I do know that.
So perhaps I am a dull woman. The things that rush my heart these days are some new recipe. Or my kids learning some new thing. My friends coming by and sitting and talking while we enjoy a bottle of wine. My pleasures at this point in my life are simpler. I have re-invented myself more times than I can say. I only know that the woman emerging now is the best version of myself to date. And I love her.
(Yes the blog makeover is going strong narrowing my choices)
Me. WHAT! Laugh. laugh. laugh. I've never been told that before...IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!
He: what adventures have you had?
Me: Oh Baby....Laugh laugh laugh! You have no idea. Laugh laugh LAUGH!
This little exchange stayed with me all through yesterday and this morning. It cracks me up. Seriously it cracks me UP! I am always stunned at folks' perception. Or their so called reality as a barometer for defining my experiences. I make no apologies for being "emotional" I like feeling everything in the world. I like knowing that things get to me...bother me...hurt me. I am not jaded by the darkness of the world. I still see beauty and joy knowing full well that evil lurks. I know what pain and suffering is. I do not have to look to India, Africa, or Louisiana to know it and yet I can look there too and do.
I have lived an amazing life. I have done things that have been unbelievable. I loved in ways most dream of. I have been places that have taken my breath away. If I died today it will be with few regrets. But since I am not dying today or at least not in this very moment. I am thinking solely about living.
I have had my share of FAST. HARD. UGLY. My new adventure is the pursuit of Peace. Joy. Love. The real revolution won't be some gun toting mobs trying to steal my stuff...that may happen. But really, the revolution will be choosing to love one another instead. Calling every man and woman and child family. I don't know if killing someone is easy. I only know what I have done in my own life and those choices were in the moment necessary. But seeing each person as your family, seeing each person as your responsibility, that takes more courage and guts and heart than any act of violence. I do know that.
So perhaps I am a dull woman. The things that rush my heart these days are some new recipe. Or my kids learning some new thing. My friends coming by and sitting and talking while we enjoy a bottle of wine. My pleasures at this point in my life are simpler. I have re-invented myself more times than I can say. I only know that the woman emerging now is the best version of myself to date. And I love her.
(Yes the blog makeover is going strong narrowing my choices)
Friday, March 20, 2009
SINGING MY FEELINGS: SEARCHING MY SOUL...VONDA SHEPARD
Many won't know this song unless you were a huge Ally McBeal fan..as I was! I have this CD and it's AMAZING! This song just divinely popped into my head this morning. It's just the right tempo and mood I am in!
It's been an incredible week. It's been an incerdible life. Yeah I am searching my soul!
Ive been down this road walkin the line
Thats painted by pride
And I have made mistakes in my life
That I just cant hide
Oh I believe I am ready for what love has to bring
Got myself together, now Im ready to sing
Ive been searchin my soul tonight
I know theres so much more to life
Now I know I can shine a light
To find my way back home
One by one, the chains around me unwind
Every day now I feel that I can leave those years behind
Oh Ive been thinking of you for a long time
Theres a side of my life where Ive been blind and so...
Ive been searchin my soul tonight
I know theres so much more to life
Now I know I can shine a light
Everything gonna be alright
Ive been searchin my soul tonight
Dont wanna be alone in life
Now I know I can shine a light
To find my way back home
Baby I been holding back now my whole life
Ive decided to move on now
Gonna leave all my worries behind
Oh I belive I am ready for what love has to give
Got myself together now Im ready to live
Ive been searchin my soul tonight
I know theres so much more to life
Now I know I can shine a light
Everything gonna be alright
Ive been searchin my soul tonight
Dont wanna be alone in my life
Now I know I can shine a light
To find my way back home
(repeat chorus)
It's been an incredible week. It's been an incerdible life. Yeah I am searching my soul!
Ive been down this road walkin the line
Thats painted by pride
And I have made mistakes in my life
That I just cant hide
Oh I believe I am ready for what love has to bring
Got myself together, now Im ready to sing
Ive been searchin my soul tonight
I know theres so much more to life
Now I know I can shine a light
To find my way back home
One by one, the chains around me unwind
Every day now I feel that I can leave those years behind
Oh Ive been thinking of you for a long time
Theres a side of my life where Ive been blind and so...
Ive been searchin my soul tonight
I know theres so much more to life
Now I know I can shine a light
Everything gonna be alright
Ive been searchin my soul tonight
Dont wanna be alone in life
Now I know I can shine a light
To find my way back home
Baby I been holding back now my whole life
Ive decided to move on now
Gonna leave all my worries behind
Oh I belive I am ready for what love has to give
Got myself together now Im ready to live
Ive been searchin my soul tonight
I know theres so much more to life
Now I know I can shine a light
Everything gonna be alright
Ive been searchin my soul tonight
Dont wanna be alone in my life
Now I know I can shine a light
To find my way back home
(repeat chorus)
Thursday, March 19, 2009
SINGING MY FEELINGS: I CAN SEE CLEARLY NOW...JOHNNY NASH
Johhny Nash knows my heart this morning! This is the prefect song for an optimist like me. I can see clearly now the rain is gone. The rain may come back but so what! Either I put up an umbrella or I get wet, either way I am going to be alright!
I can see clearly now, the rain is gone
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It's gonna be a bright
(Bright), bright (bright)
Sun-shiny day
It's gonna be a bright
(Bright), bright (bright)
Sun-shiny day
I think I can make it now, the pain is gone
All of the bad feelings have disappeared
Here is the rainbow I've been prayin' for
It's gonna be a bright
(Bright), bright (bright)
Sun-shiny day
Look all around, there's nothin' but blue skies
Look straight ahead, nothin' but blue skies
I can see clearly now, the rain is gone
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It's gonna be a bright
(Bright), bright (bright)
Sun-shiny day
It's gonna be a bright
(Bright), bright (bright)
Sun-shiny day
It's gonna be a bright
(Bright), bright (bright)
Sun-shiny day
Oh, what a bright, (bright)
Sun-shiny day
I can see clearly now, the rain is gone
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It's gonna be a bright
(Bright), bright (bright)
Sun-shiny day
It's gonna be a bright
(Bright), bright (bright)
Sun-shiny day
I think I can make it now, the pain is gone
All of the bad feelings have disappeared
Here is the rainbow I've been prayin' for
It's gonna be a bright
(Bright), bright (bright)
Sun-shiny day
Look all around, there's nothin' but blue skies
Look straight ahead, nothin' but blue skies
I can see clearly now, the rain is gone
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It's gonna be a bright
(Bright), bright (bright)
Sun-shiny day
It's gonna be a bright
(Bright), bright (bright)
Sun-shiny day
It's gonna be a bright
(Bright), bright (bright)
Sun-shiny day
Oh, what a bright, (bright)
Sun-shiny day
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
SINGING MY FEELINGS: SOMEONE EXACTLY LIKE YOU...VAN MORRISON
I woke up this morning with this song on my heart. At first I was like WTF? I am getting divorced in a few hours why would I be singing a song about new love and finding new love. Then it dawned on me. I am supposed to be singing a song about finding new love. It is about hope. Today is not an ending...but a beginning. It is another example of changing my mind....changing my life. Rather than seeing today as a sad ending. I am reminded that I need to see it as a glorious beginning. So this song is appropriate. The lyrics and music are stunningly beautiful and it indeed makes me hopeful.
Someone exactly like you - Van Morrison
I've been searching a long time
For someone exactly like you
I've been travelling all around the world
Waiting for you to come through.
Someone like you makes it
All worth while
Someone like you keeps
Me satisfied. Someone exactly
Like you.
I've been travellin' a hard road
Lookin' for someone exactly like you
I've been carryin' my heavy load
Waiting for the light to come
Shining through.
Someone like you makes it
All worth while
Someone like you keeps
Me satisfied. Someone exactly
Like you.
I've been doin' some soul searching
To find out where you're at
I've been up and down the highway
In all kinds of foreign lands
Someone like you... etc.
I've been all around the world
Marching to the beat of a different
Drum.
But just lately I have
Realized
The best is yet to come.
Someone exactly like you - Van Morrison
I've been searching a long time
For someone exactly like you
I've been travelling all around the world
Waiting for you to come through.
Someone like you makes it
All worth while
Someone like you keeps
Me satisfied. Someone exactly
Like you.
I've been travellin' a hard road
Lookin' for someone exactly like you
I've been carryin' my heavy load
Waiting for the light to come
Shining through.
Someone like you makes it
All worth while
Someone like you keeps
Me satisfied. Someone exactly
Like you.
I've been doin' some soul searching
To find out where you're at
I've been up and down the highway
In all kinds of foreign lands
Someone like you... etc.
I've been all around the world
Marching to the beat of a different
Drum.
But just lately I have
Realized
The best is yet to come.
Monday, March 16, 2009
SINGING MY FEELINGS: DIANA ROSS...IT'S MY TURN
Toward the end of last week I was sad. I looked sad. I sounded sad. I was worried and I was afraid. I couldn't sleep. Couldn't focus. My divorce will be finalized on Wednesday 3/18/09. All the old fears since the beginning of the divorce came rushing back. What was I going to do. How was I going to manage?
So Saturday, I went to bed with the intentions of waking up sad. But a funny thing happened. I woke up Sunday with songs on my mind and heart....Nina Simone, Feeling Good. Songs I haven't thought of in years. Very empowering songs! So for the next several days or until the Divine stops feeding me song tunes, I'll be posting songs that have changed my mind and my heart. I am going into Wednesday with a confidence and boldness that I've known all my life. WTF...I got this too. Just another walk in the park. LOL! I have been managing! I have been doing what needs to be done...ON MY OWN!
So let Diva, Diana Ross tell you how I feel....It's My Turn. The vocal track. This song is strong and hearing Ms. Ross sing it without music reminds you of just how strong her voice is.
I can't cover up my feelings
In the name of love
Or play it safe
For a while that was easy
And if living for myself
Is what I'm guilty of
Go on and sentence me
I'll still be free
It's my turn
To see what I can see
I hope you'll understand
This time's just for me
Because it's my turn
With no apologies
I've given up the truth
To those I've tried to please
But now it's my turn
If I don't have all the answers
At least I know I'll take my share of chances
Ain't no use in holding on
When nothing stays the same
So I'll let it rain
'Cause the rain ain't gonna hurt me
And I'll let you go
'Though I know it won't be easy
It's my turn
With no more room for lies
FOR YEARS I`VE SEEN MY LIFE
Through someone else's eyes
And now it's my turn
To try and find my way
And if I should get lost
At least I'll own today
It's my turn
Yes, it's my turn
And there ain't no use in holding of
When nothing stays the same
So I'll let it rain
'Cause the rain ain't gonna hurt me
And I'll let you go
'Though I know it won't be easy
It's my turn
To see what I can see
I hope you'll understand
This time's just for me
Because it's my turn
To turn and say goodbye
I sure would like to know
That you're still on my side
Because it's my turn
It's my turn
It's my turn
To start from number one
Trying to undo
Some damage that's been done
But now it's my turn
To reach and touch the sky
No one's gonna say
At least I didn't try
It's my turn
Yes, it's my turn
It's my turn
It's my turn
It's my turn
So Saturday, I went to bed with the intentions of waking up sad. But a funny thing happened. I woke up Sunday with songs on my mind and heart....Nina Simone, Feeling Good. Songs I haven't thought of in years. Very empowering songs! So for the next several days or until the Divine stops feeding me song tunes, I'll be posting songs that have changed my mind and my heart. I am going into Wednesday with a confidence and boldness that I've known all my life. WTF...I got this too. Just another walk in the park. LOL! I have been managing! I have been doing what needs to be done...ON MY OWN!
So let Diva, Diana Ross tell you how I feel....It's My Turn. The vocal track. This song is strong and hearing Ms. Ross sing it without music reminds you of just how strong her voice is.
I can't cover up my feelings
In the name of love
Or play it safe
For a while that was easy
And if living for myself
Is what I'm guilty of
Go on and sentence me
I'll still be free
It's my turn
To see what I can see
I hope you'll understand
This time's just for me
Because it's my turn
With no apologies
I've given up the truth
To those I've tried to please
But now it's my turn
If I don't have all the answers
At least I know I'll take my share of chances
Ain't no use in holding on
When nothing stays the same
So I'll let it rain
'Cause the rain ain't gonna hurt me
And I'll let you go
'Though I know it won't be easy
It's my turn
With no more room for lies
FOR YEARS I`VE SEEN MY LIFE
Through someone else's eyes
And now it's my turn
To try and find my way
And if I should get lost
At least I'll own today
It's my turn
Yes, it's my turn
And there ain't no use in holding of
When nothing stays the same
So I'll let it rain
'Cause the rain ain't gonna hurt me
And I'll let you go
'Though I know it won't be easy
It's my turn
To see what I can see
I hope you'll understand
This time's just for me
Because it's my turn
To turn and say goodbye
I sure would like to know
That you're still on my side
Because it's my turn
It's my turn
It's my turn
To start from number one
Trying to undo
Some damage that's been done
But now it's my turn
To reach and touch the sky
No one's gonna say
At least I didn't try
It's my turn
Yes, it's my turn
It's my turn
It's my turn
It's my turn
Sunday, March 15, 2009
SINGING MY FEELINGS: NINA SIMONE...FEELING GOOD
Nina Simone is the High Priestess of TRUTH baby! I am feeling this version of this song! I love the Michael Buble` version too. But Nina takes it to a whole new level.
Yeah! I am feeling GOOD!
Birds flying high you know how I feel
Sun in the sky you know how I feel
Breeze driftin' on by you know how I feel
(refrain:)x2
It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
For me
And I'm feeling good
Fish in the sea you know how I feel
River running free you know how I feel
Blossom on the tree you know how I feel
(refrain)
Dragonfly out in the sun you know what I mean, don't you know
Butterflies all havin' fun you know what I mean
Sleep in peace when day is done
That's what I mean
And this old world is a new world
And a bold world
For me
Stars when you shine you know how I feel
Scent of the pine you know how I feel
Oh freedom is mine
And I know how I feel
Yeah! I am feeling GOOD!
Birds flying high you know how I feel
Sun in the sky you know how I feel
Breeze driftin' on by you know how I feel
(refrain:)x2
It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
For me
And I'm feeling good
Fish in the sea you know how I feel
River running free you know how I feel
Blossom on the tree you know how I feel
(refrain)
Dragonfly out in the sun you know what I mean, don't you know
Butterflies all havin' fun you know what I mean
Sleep in peace when day is done
That's what I mean
And this old world is a new world
And a bold world
For me
Stars when you shine you know how I feel
Scent of the pine you know how I feel
Oh freedom is mine
And I know how I feel
Thursday, March 12, 2009
LENTEN JOURNEY: CLARITY. TRUTH. GROWTH.
Self discovery is an amazing thing. But only if you are willing and open to the truth about who you are. The truth about how you are in the world and with other people. Standing in the mirror and staring at yourself dead-on can be uncomfortable. Do I like what I see? I am not solely talking about the physical. But the me that makes decisions. The me that loves or not loves. The me that lives inside of this body. The me that can wrap lies and half truths around me like a blanket.
There are times when you need the comfort of lies and half-truths to get you through. There are times when being a fool is a blessing. We live in mess until we gain strength to move on. Not that we are weak but that we are afraid. We are convinced that what stands before us isn't so bad...job, friends, lovers. And yet it doesn't bring us joy so we begin to back track..."well who can be joyful and joyous all the time?" And that's how we remain stuck on stupid. We talk ourselves out of going after all that we want. We settle and we accept and we make excuses for mis-treatment, mean words, bad behaviour and disrespect.
The last couple of years have been a time of tremendous growth for me as evidenced by this blog and all the posts. I started this blog so wounded that I could barely breath, I couldn't stop crying and I was just a total wreck. The more I blogged the better my vision became about who I was and where I was going. I could see where the pitfalls were and I could examine my heart. I could dream. I have learned a thing or two about trusting my instincts and paying attention to my feelings. I have set my feet and heart upon a path of healing...seeking joy and seeking love. Yes indeed there were pitfalls. I fell back into a pattern of allowing my neediness to cloud my better judgement and I got stuck on stupid again. But that's OK. I am known for my epiphanies. I am blessed with the gift of intuition and feeling. Those gifts have never failed me...I have failed them. But I am not trying to beat myself up for being a fool. I am hugging myself for the clarity of this moment. I needed what I needed and I got it. Now I need something more. I always needed something more.
This Lenten Journey is directing me to a place of better self care and kindness toward myself. The creative and spiritual divinity is calling me to take better care. I can see it with clarity. The truth is I have not put myself first at all. I have concerned myself with the happiness of other's and have lost sight of my own happiness. I am growing as I did when I began this journey. What I needed last year I do not need this year. The scraps thrown my way are not enough...I am not full. I want to be full. I want to live with a full heart.
I walk on with a new resolve to self-care and self love. Shedding anything and anyone that does not positively and lovingly feed my spirit and heart.
Ad Maiorem Dei Gloriam
There are times when you need the comfort of lies and half-truths to get you through. There are times when being a fool is a blessing. We live in mess until we gain strength to move on. Not that we are weak but that we are afraid. We are convinced that what stands before us isn't so bad...job, friends, lovers. And yet it doesn't bring us joy so we begin to back track..."well who can be joyful and joyous all the time?" And that's how we remain stuck on stupid. We talk ourselves out of going after all that we want. We settle and we accept and we make excuses for mis-treatment, mean words, bad behaviour and disrespect.
The last couple of years have been a time of tremendous growth for me as evidenced by this blog and all the posts. I started this blog so wounded that I could barely breath, I couldn't stop crying and I was just a total wreck. The more I blogged the better my vision became about who I was and where I was going. I could see where the pitfalls were and I could examine my heart. I could dream. I have learned a thing or two about trusting my instincts and paying attention to my feelings. I have set my feet and heart upon a path of healing...seeking joy and seeking love. Yes indeed there were pitfalls. I fell back into a pattern of allowing my neediness to cloud my better judgement and I got stuck on stupid again. But that's OK. I am known for my epiphanies. I am blessed with the gift of intuition and feeling. Those gifts have never failed me...I have failed them. But I am not trying to beat myself up for being a fool. I am hugging myself for the clarity of this moment. I needed what I needed and I got it. Now I need something more. I always needed something more.
This Lenten Journey is directing me to a place of better self care and kindness toward myself. The creative and spiritual divinity is calling me to take better care. I can see it with clarity. The truth is I have not put myself first at all. I have concerned myself with the happiness of other's and have lost sight of my own happiness. I am growing as I did when I began this journey. What I needed last year I do not need this year. The scraps thrown my way are not enough...I am not full. I want to be full. I want to live with a full heart.
I walk on with a new resolve to self-care and self love. Shedding anything and anyone that does not positively and lovingly feed my spirit and heart.
Ad Maiorem Dei Gloriam
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
GOODBYE. A GIFT
I happened upon this sermon Let Them Go by TD Jakes a few years ago. I couldn't receive the message then, because I was too caught up in mess to really digest it. I re-connected with it a few days ago while visiting a new blog I came across called Battle Scars and Exit Wounds. Their post The Gift Of "Goodbye" linked this sermon and this time it WOWED ME! So of course you know I just believed it was speaking directly to me. I found a version that I liked and here it is:
There are people who can walk away from you.
And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk.
I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.
When people can walk away from you let them walk.
Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.
People leave you because they are not joined to you.
And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay.
LET THEM GO!
And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over
so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead.
You've got to know when it's dead.
You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of goodbye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in goodbye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay.
LET THEM GO!
If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to...
LET THEM GO!
If you are holding on to past hurts and pains...
LET THEM GO!
If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth...
LET THEM GO!
If someone has angered you...
LET THEM GO!
If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge...
LET THEM GO!
If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction...
LET THEM GO!
If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents...
LET THEM GO!
If you have a bad attitude...
LET THEM GO!
If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better...
LET THEM GO!
If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship.......
LET THEM GO!
If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves...
LET THEM GO!
If you're feeling depressed and stressed...
LET THEM GO!
Get Right or Get Left, think about it, and then...
LET THEM GO!
Monday, March 9, 2009
MY LENTEN JOURNEY: EMBRACING THIS MOMENT OF SOLITUDE & REFLECTION
There is something to being connected to the seasons. Being connected in a very organic kind of way. I spent the winter making stews, and soups and biscuits and cornbread. But now I feel the need for salads and lighter fish fare. Spring is coming!
Off with the old and on with the new. Yes the new. I have to let go of things that are not for me really. No matter how I wish them to be. Wishing doesn't make it so. These are definitely prayerful days. I am feeling very brave and very open. I do not know what tomorrow holds for me. I know what I want and I am summoning the courage to move in that direction. There are worries to contend with. I am beating them back as I said that I would, not giving in to the negative talk or thinking. This Lenten Journey is showing me that I have a creative spirit and spiritual nature. I call upon those strengths to move me further on my journey.
Letting go means to release myself from old hurts and complicated relationships. I am done with complicated matters. I want simplicity and serenity. I don't want to be ruled by the news of the day. I want peace and laughter and joy and good meals and wine!
So here I am looking out the window watching the snow and rain mix falling. I feel alone and lonely but not sad. I am feeling hopeful and prayerful that all my hearts desires' shall manifest in my big life. I am embracing this moment of solitude and aloness. Taking this time to reflect on where am I exactly? And what do I see?
I am embracing this moment of solitude and reflection. Standing fully in this moment awaiting Spring and shortly letting go of Winter. I've got more to discern as I walk this lonely road.
Ad Maiorem Dei Gloriam
Off with the old and on with the new. Yes the new. I have to let go of things that are not for me really. No matter how I wish them to be. Wishing doesn't make it so. These are definitely prayerful days. I am feeling very brave and very open. I do not know what tomorrow holds for me. I know what I want and I am summoning the courage to move in that direction. There are worries to contend with. I am beating them back as I said that I would, not giving in to the negative talk or thinking. This Lenten Journey is showing me that I have a creative spirit and spiritual nature. I call upon those strengths to move me further on my journey.
Letting go means to release myself from old hurts and complicated relationships. I am done with complicated matters. I want simplicity and serenity. I don't want to be ruled by the news of the day. I want peace and laughter and joy and good meals and wine!
So here I am looking out the window watching the snow and rain mix falling. I feel alone and lonely but not sad. I am feeling hopeful and prayerful that all my hearts desires' shall manifest in my big life. I am embracing this moment of solitude and aloness. Taking this time to reflect on where am I exactly? And what do I see?
I am embracing this moment of solitude and reflection. Standing fully in this moment awaiting Spring and shortly letting go of Winter. I've got more to discern as I walk this lonely road.
Ad Maiorem Dei Gloriam
Friday, March 6, 2009
MY LENTEN JOURNEY: EMBRACING THE FEMININE
There is a real softness developing in me. An unexpected delight. I can feel myself becoming more womanly, more in tuned with a vulnerability that ordinarily would have been lost with all that I have come through these last several years. My pending divorce has not made me bitter. The unfortunate events of the last several years have not made me hard. Yes, I am strong and fearless where I need to be. But something else too...a softness...a willingness to yield.
As I move further into embracing my creativity and spirituality I cannot ignore my femininity. I am re-defining my womaness. I am not talking about roles. It goes deeper than that. It is for me about knowing what I need and being open to it. Using this Lenten journey to reflect on what it means to be a woman open for love is all a part of discovering my creative self. Creativity, spirituality and femininity are intertwined, each drawing strength from the other.
Understanding and embracing my femininity is critical as I welcome this season of dating and connecting with men. Knowing who I am at my core affirms my choice in a partner, lover, husband. I want to be a woman. Yielding, gracious, strong, beautiful, loving, kind, creative, spiritual.
Ad Maiorem Dei Glorian
As I move further into embracing my creativity and spirituality I cannot ignore my femininity. I am re-defining my womaness. I am not talking about roles. It goes deeper than that. It is for me about knowing what I need and being open to it. Using this Lenten journey to reflect on what it means to be a woman open for love is all a part of discovering my creative self. Creativity, spirituality and femininity are intertwined, each drawing strength from the other.
Understanding and embracing my femininity is critical as I welcome this season of dating and connecting with men. Knowing who I am at my core affirms my choice in a partner, lover, husband. I want to be a woman. Yielding, gracious, strong, beautiful, loving, kind, creative, spiritual.
Ad Maiorem Dei Glorian
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