DEAR SANTA: I WANT A PARTNER, LOVER, HUSBAND.

Yes I am declaring it I WANT A HUSBAND! I am ready.  Being with Mr. Love has made me realize I am a woman meant for marriage, partnership and  commitment.  So on my Christmas list to Santa, next to world peace, food for all, I want a husband.  Being married was lovely and I was sad that marriage ended.  I am not one of those people against marriage just because a marriage ended.  That marriage was not a failure, it produced 4 beautiful children and truth be told my ex and I are better partners apart. We have become much more balanced parents and I love that.

So, Dear Santa, I have a long standing Love List that would greatly guide your efforts.  Yes I know I am a complicated woman...who isn't?  I am realistic, I don't expect  him to be under the tree this year! However next year I will be waiting!

Merry Christmas!

CLOSER...CORINNE BAILEY RAE

This song is HOTTTT! It has a serious Minnie Ripperton vibe to it. It is sexy and soooo GROWN WOMAN! and it does speak to how I am feeling. I love music and its effect/affect on my spirit. These songs are the background for my life.



I don't want to give you up
I don't want to hold you up
I don't want ambiguous
I just know that I've had enough
I want you to travel with me
Let loose and let your mind go free...Show you things that you've never seen
You just got to go with me
Ohhh

(Chorus)
Your love is so good that I want to show you
Don't make me responsible, for something that you can't find
Ohhh
Your loving is so good, so good, the closer
I want it, I want it
Into me
I want it, I want it,
Leave it here
I want to get close to you baby
Experience...
I want it, I want it
Generous...
Lay down what's impeding you
Cause I want to get close to you

(Verse 2)
I don't want to give you up
I'm tired of the pull and push
I"m tired of the making love
Don't you feel like you've had enough
I want you to journey with me, explore all the innocence
I don't mind us to build tension but we've got to move in the same direction

(Repeat Chorus)

You just got to go with me...

(Repeat Chorus x2)

CORINNE BAILEY RAE

THE COMMITMENT CONVERSATION

Commit: To give in trust or charge; consign.
To pledge (oneself) to a position on an issue or question; express (one's intention, feeling, etc.)

We are having the Commitment Talk tomorrow.  We are going to sit and talk openly and honestly about a future together or go our separate ways.  We are going to bare ourselves and pledge love one way or the other. We are going to seriously explore moving toward marriage. It will be a very serious discussion about who we are and what we want, require, need and want from each other.

It is time to exhale.  It is time to decide to go or stay. We already know love exists.  We already know that when we kiss and lay together the world stops and races to meet our passion.  What we are committing to is the going the distance.  To staying rooted even when the wolves come howling.  Forsaking all others for the sake of each other and this family we are strengthening.

He asks: "Do you Trust me?" "Respect Me?" and "Why do you want me for your Man?" He states: "I don't have the same education as you". "I don't make anywhere near the kind of money you do."  "I live simply" "Are you serious"

I am standing at a pivotal point in my life.  Love has come round.  Love that I have asked for, hoped for, tried to get rid of.  Whatever fears I have used as an excuse, obstacle and wedge to keep me from being in love are put away. I am stepping into this love.  I am surrending my mess. 

I am ready for the conversation to commit.

E. N. D.

ENTIRELY NEW DIRECTION...

That's where I am headed.  I am pulling out all the stops to live the life of my dreams.  I am loving the man I am with.  I am finding joy in the ordinary moments in the day.  I have been thinking long and hard about my life.  Rereading this blog, journals and other places that I have waxed poetic.  I have realized that I have all that I need to move forward.  I have enough heart and mind to choose love, life and the pursuit of happiness!

For the next 21 days I am committing myself to a path of deliberate positive thoughts and outer action.  I am simply going to put my mind on my goals and move and act on them without regard to lack of anything...money...time...energy and any other untruths that I have held onto too tightly.  I am going to take deep breaths and respond to the world with love.  There is no magic here.  Just a willingness to live a different way.  To truly have more joy and love and peace in my life.

For the first time I am going to be deliberate in my thoughts and actions.  I am going to hold fast to positive living and loving.  I am going to immerse myself in all the books and motivational words and cds that I have and I am going to apply them to this life without fear and uncertainty.

The only way to get to the life I want and need is to move in an ENTIRELY NEW DIRECTION!

LOVE IS IN THE AIR: POETRY

I never realized it but February is one of my most favorite months. Black history month is celebrated! and Valentine's Day! I love love love Valentine's Day! So I am taking a bit of a break from my lamenting my life and will share my favorite love poems and songs/videos by Black people and anything else that speaks to LOVE!

Here is a poem from Haki Madbhubuti...whom I am wild for! LOL! Check him out at Third World Press.

LOVE GETS TOO MUCH CREDIT
UNTIL IT FINDS YOU

you don't find love, it finds you
not that love is hidden or unavailable
it's on its own mission searching for receptive souls.
love cannot be bought, sold or ordered with dinner,
cannot be charged on gold cards or revolving accounts,
cannot be bartered with food stamps, coupons or promises,
cannot be redeemed with cashier checks or money orders.
love is seasoned and concealed in fine fire,
delicate music and accessible secrets that are quilted
to the tone of distinctive voices wrapped in unconditions and
clear commitments
created for unique lovers who have matured
and are prepared to receive the most precious of stones
allowing love to tango its cultured language generously
and unencumbered into the essence of those
who are blessed.