CHRISTMAS MUSING & MY GROWN UP CHRISTMAS LIST

This is my favorite time of year. I love all the possibilities of miracles and magic. I have a pep in my step and I am always singing a Christmas song...songs! My smile is wider and brighter...1000 watts! I LOVE CHRISTMAS!

As I walk through my house and see all the decorations. The Christmas tree, the Santa's, the wreaths and bells and all that red and gold. I am delighted. I love ornaments. I have been collecting them since I was a new bride. I have ornaments from places I've travelled to far and wide. I have every ornament each child has made and I lovingly put them on the tree each year. There is no theme to the decorations...very eclectic. Each year at the end of the season we hunt for bargains on ornaments and decorations for the next year. We set a dollar amount, we buy things that are at least 60-80% off and tuck them away for next year. I think we look forward to bargain hunting more than anything else. We get things that we wouldn't dare pay full price for.

So this is the season of Joy and wonder. I feel it. I love it. I am like a big kid too. I LOVE presents! Doesn't matter what the present is! I love getting gifts LOL!

MY GROWN UP CHRISTMAS LIST 21-25

DEAR SANTA,

I WANT:

• Faux Fur Throw for my bed
• Bunny Slippers
• Red Leather Gloves
• Martini Bar Set
• Professional Grade Cooking Knives

FAITH FORWARD FRIDAY: WISHING DOESN'T MAKE IT SO & GROWN UP CHRISTMAS LIST

Wishing someone to be something other than what they are is not their fault. It is yours. When you hope against hope that someone will magically see the light and act humanely/kindly/lovingly toward you, when they HAVE never been that way is insanity. It is YOU not seeing them for who they are.

When your expectations of someone far exceeds their grasp. You cannot be upset when they let you down, when they are being who they said they are. People tell us who they are over and over and over and over. Why do we choose to see something other than their reality?

I have this problem with not accepting people's reality. I always believe that people are better than they actually are. I always think that people will rise to the occasion and be their better angels at every opportunity. This is not entirely true. It is not true for myself. I cannot live up to my expectations. So what' s a Grown Woman to do? This post isn't about anybody, it is about me and how I move forward in love.

I cannot point the finger to anyone. I am the biggest wishing fool ever! I am at my worst in loveships. I see potential and I wish for that to manifest itself in the object of my desire, even when they themselves are not feeling that vibe. I believe love elevates and therefore makes you better. Yes & no. Yes, if someone is moving along the same spiritual and self-actualization path as I and is open to love. No, if a person is on a different personal trip. Again this about me and how to walk in my truth. I am not suggesting that we accept mistreatment in an effort to accept folks. No not at all. I am suggesting that in our angst for love we are desperate in making something out of nothing...especially when we KNOW BETTER!

This warrants further discernment. SIGH

My Grown-Up Christmas List 8-13:

Dear Santa,

I WANT:

1. A Wine Refrigerator
2. A Spa Gift Card
3. A kitchenAid Mixer
4. Better Patience
5. Maybach...RED
6. A Summer in Provence

TRUE LOVE TUESDAY: MAKING ROOM & MY GROWN UP CHRISTMAS LIST

You know in your heart when things end in friendships and loveships, at work, anywhere you have close ties and commitments. I know the ending of things cause a great deal of sadness and grief. My marriage ending was and is profoundly sad to me. The ending of my crush on My Crush is a different kind of sad. Not life altering....more like auld lang syne.

What I am learning is when you allow the grieving process to run its course and you let yourself feel the loss. Then you begin to realize that the universe is really making room for the next...loveship, job, friendship. It is hard to recognize this as we are ending things because quite frankly it hurts and we feel like we failed on some level. But I say, shift our thinking a bit and think we did not fail, that our loveship, friendship, career choice was what was needed at the time and we got what we needed from them to move us further along in our journey.

As I step back and take stock of where I am at this very minute, I can see my life shifting. I can feel the difference as this year is coming to its end. I am not so focused on what I don't want. I am making room. Making room for all the gifts, blessings and good intentions coming my way...that have come my way. I want to live and love in abundance with open hands, heart and mind. If you are desperately holding on to old wounds and hurts. Let go. Walk out on faith and let the universe open up and make room. There are boundless gifts of joy, love and peace waiting for you.

My Grown Up Christmas List 1-7

Dear Santa, I want:

1. More time to read for pleasure
2. A new house in Atlanta with a great kitchen, and large backyard
3. Commitment to practice meditation
4. A serious committed relationship with LOTS OF SEX (will add this again further down the list) (Santa see Love List for details)
5. Work on knitting---took a class but I am still not good at it...yet
6. More time for my artistic pursuits (theatre, opera, museums, crafts--yes I love crafts)
7. New high end professional grade pots

A GROWN UP CHRISTMAS LIST....

From now until Christmas I am creating my own Grown-Up Christmas List. I think it will be in addition to my Love List. It is my thinking to truly focus on Love. I have been straddling the old me with the new me trying to emerge. I found myself trying to fit into other's idea of me. Now is my time to fully step into the life I want to live.




Music by David Foster

Lyrics by Linda Thompson

Do you remember me

I sat upon your knee

I wrote to you

With childhood fantasies

Well, I'm all grown up now

Can you still help somehow

I'm not a child

But my heart still can dream

So here's my lifelong wish

My grown-up Christmas list

Not for myself

But for a world in need

No more lives torn apart

That wars would never start

And time would heal all hearts

Every man would have a friend

That right would always win

And love would never end

This is my grown-up

Christmas list

What is this illusion called

The innocence of youth

Maybe only in their blind belief

Can we ever find the truth

There'd be no more lives torn apart

And wars would never start

And time would heal all hearts

Every man would have a friend

And right would always win

And love would never end

This is my grown-up Christmas list

This is my only lifelong wish

This is my grown-up Christmas list

Hoo---, hoo--