tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4650845911079200343.post6283289743068470044..comments2023-10-31T04:46:00.311-04:00Comments on Lovebabz: A Life in Transition: TRUE LOVE TUESDAY: COURTING MEBabz Rawls Ivyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04059921674059371076noreply@blogger.comBlogger35125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4650845911079200343.post-91933053420168767772008-08-15T07:42:00.000-04:002008-08-15T07:42:00.000-04:00Flutter,Thank you! We all deserve Good LOVE!Flutter,<BR/>Thank you! We all deserve Good LOVE!Babz Rawls Ivyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04059921674059371076noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4650845911079200343.post-78107820991525272962008-08-15T01:59:00.000-04:002008-08-15T01:59:00.000-04:00You deserve it, lady. You do.You deserve it, lady. You do.flutterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11828689769747130419noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4650845911079200343.post-53524753443122595392008-08-14T07:57:00.000-04:002008-08-14T07:57:00.000-04:00Hello TPW!LOL! I like the secondary courting. Ver...Hello TPW!<BR/><BR/>LOL! I like the secondary courting. Very charming!Babz Rawls Ivyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04059921674059371076noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4650845911079200343.post-15983747020771633422008-08-14T00:39:00.000-04:002008-08-14T00:39:00.000-04:00i think we all want that...i was sort of courted, ...i think we all want that...i was sort of courted, although i fell FAST, head first into it...lol so it was like secondary courting. either way, it's FUN!the prisoner's wifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11160398635149797677noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4650845911079200343.post-19202097389368014522008-08-13T13:25:00.000-04:002008-08-13T13:25:00.000-04:00Hi Nonlinear Girl,Ah thanks for stopping by and sh...Hi Nonlinear Girl,<BR/><BR/>Ah thanks for stopping by and sharing. Yes indeed you have to be what you are seeking!<BR/><BR/>You are welcome to drop in anyitme!Babz Rawls Ivyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04059921674059371076noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4650845911079200343.post-73674814219740300222008-08-13T13:16:00.000-04:002008-08-13T13:16:00.000-04:00At an essential level, most of want to be courted....At an essential level, most of want to be courted. I love my husband and we have a great relationship, but we don't court much any more. Every so often out of the blue he treats me like he did when he was trying to impress me. It is NICE. <BR/><BR/>For my part I try to remember to treat him that way, with the idea that if you want some sweetness, it helps to offer some of your own. <BR/><BR/>Thanks for the reminder.nonlineargirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05414675024101618604noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4650845911079200343.post-69529716821596400992008-08-13T09:54:00.000-04:002008-08-13T09:54:00.000-04:00LOVEBABZ: I'm hardly saying to go wild. You have ...LOVEBABZ: I'm hardly saying to go wild. You have your standards and they are your own. <BR/><BR/>There is something to be said for a sort of Zen approach to these things and to relax do what you enjoy work-wise and for hobbies, and let your mind and body tell you what they want, when they want it and how they want it.<BR/><BR/>A plan is good. A flexible plan is better.<BR/><BR/>On the subject of health and safety vis-a-vis, I think a rigid plan is THE ONLY PLAN. No reason not to be absolutely direct and upfront about all that when situations present themselves.KELSO'S NUTShttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14636889771989672795noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4650845911079200343.post-65708792176842249952008-08-13T09:28:00.000-04:002008-08-13T09:28:00.000-04:00Hey Senior Kelso,I hear what you are saying. And ...Hey Senior Kelso,<BR/><BR/>I hear what you are saying. And as always you are right on the money. But I not wanting to run through men. I don't want to have astring of sexual partners. I do not want to try lovers on and discard, and move onto the next.<BR/><BR/>I do not want a man in and out of this body. I do not want to change lovers like I change my shoes, or my hair. I want one lover for a period of time...preferably till death do us part. Yes I tried that once before and got to 12 years. Not a bad track record.<BR/><BR/>I just want to take my time. I just want to connect with someone honestly.<BR/><BR/>HIV is destroying the African American community. It will become increasingly hard to be casual with sex. I am a young woman and I do not want to put myself in harms way.Babz Rawls Ivyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04059921674059371076noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4650845911079200343.post-42020683036427640422008-08-13T09:08:00.000-04:002008-08-13T09:08:00.000-04:00If you want to be "La Princesa Dorada" to some man...If you want to be "La Princesa Dorada" to some man's "Principe Azul" you had better also like feudalism.<BR/><BR/>Prince Charming or "El Principe Azul" as he's known down here is a fairy tale because no such creature existed. Even in the fairy tale "El Principe Azul" got himself an awful lot of sex!<BR/><BR/>If you were a woman in a titled family and were being courted by a titled man, you and your dowry became that man's property once your father gave the thumbs-up.<BR/><BR/>If you refer to a pre-1964 America, well you sure take the bitter with the better on that, too.<BR/><BR/>You are a well-educated woman who has spent her fair share of time among the ruling class of today's USA. Life may move at a slightly more leisurely pace in that environment but for every hour of free time you get you pay with your freedom from other strictures.<BR/><BR/>It's a reality that real life moves fast and there's too much to do and not enough time to do it. But that hardly means LOVE is impossible. The kind of love you feel that causes you to wake up each morning thrilled to be alive. That sort of thing. The courtship period is merely foreshortened these day because of tectonic social and economic changes. LOVE may follow rather than proceed a reckless hookup, for example. <BR/><BR/>Or "courtship" might consist of a long platonic friendship you might have with a man which evolves slowly with the tincture of time.<BR/><BR/>I doubt there's another country in the democratic developed world which has the kind of socially agreed-to contract of long periods of delayed sex for the sheer enjoyment of it than America does. You're in the right place if anywhere's right for a long courtship period. That's for sure.<BR/><BR/>If I'm not mistaken there was a fad for a few years in the US not so long ago for long platonic courtships. I was living in Europe and then in Las Vegas in that era so it missed me completely. In England and Spain men who did this sort of thing were kind of jokingly referred to as "New Men" or "Tios Nuevos". That was kind of a stock character in the popular TV comedies of the time.<BR/><BR/>I can't say if that kind of thing was going on in Las Vegas then because I really spent most of my time with the upper echelon of professional gamblers and that is a workaholic's life. Mostly, the men I knew were married, had girlfriends or were looking for casual sex and not at all willing to put in courting time because of the demands of the work.<BR/><BR/>Perhaps, in the normal business community the "new man" and the long-courting style was in vogue in LV then, but I couldn't tell you one way or the other.<BR/><BR/>I do know that when I moved back to NYC, I would hear women complain that men had become too passive. And that these long courtship periods left them confused as to whether the man wasn't turned on physically or whether he was too scared or require too much effort to be worth the bother.KELSO'S NUTShttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14636889771989672795noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4650845911079200343.post-3500726277451442112008-08-13T08:56:00.000-04:002008-08-13T08:56:00.000-04:00Hello Shuna Fish Lydon,Thank you so much for inspi...Hello Shuna Fish Lydon,<BR/><BR/>Thank you so much for inspiring me. I swear it was like a bolt of lightening.<BR/><BR/>You are so right about courting being about patience. I too believe that I need to come at my loveships honestly.<BR/><BR/>Thanks for coming by...you are always welcome here!Babz Rawls Ivyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04059921674059371076noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4650845911079200343.post-57894572735608109722008-08-13T02:37:00.000-04:002008-08-13T02:37:00.000-04:00I'd like to second the emotions of -q & je...I'd like to second the emotions of -q & jennifer. And thank you so much for your generous link and taking what I've said to another level. <BR/><BR/>Courting is about patience and respect-- both ways, not just towards the woman. For me, respecting myself, and being clear with another person, is about not judging what I want in the moment, so long as decisions are made sober & consensually.<BR/><BR/>Good for you for telling the universe what you want, no matter how it seems or looks. What I love to know is people who are empowering themselves from the inside-out, and that's what I feel here. <BR/><BR/>Thank you for sharing your important voice with us here, and what amazing comments you've garnered from this heartfelt post!shuna fish lydonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01206832269005038626noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4650845911079200343.post-30414676850351468982008-08-12T21:04:00.000-04:002008-08-12T21:04:00.000-04:00Hey Mizr,I know sometimes I want all the lights to...Hey Mizr,<BR/><BR/>I know sometimes I want all the lights to be greeen! But Ithink Ia mgoing to try another approach. I am going to take my time. Act like a fine bottle of wine! <BR/><BR/>I am glad you found this of interest!Babz Rawls Ivyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04059921674059371076noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4650845911079200343.post-25547149553855554752008-08-12T20:59:00.000-04:002008-08-12T20:59:00.000-04:00Oh lady, yes, yes, yes...i so hear you. I feel lik...Oh lady, yes, yes, yes...i so hear you. I feel like that is happening to me, and i appreciate the slowness, mosttimes, but other times apart of me wants to rush it.lol. I know, i haven't quite crossed that line into be patient as i need to be, but right now things are good...i want more of this, i need more of this. You said it all, you said exactly how i feel.Mizrepresenthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02992754393960138393noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4650845911079200343.post-55636324868234779592008-08-12T20:19:00.000-04:002008-08-12T20:19:00.000-04:00Sister Keisha,Let the people say AMEN! Yes I am f...Sister Keisha,<BR/><BR/>Let the people say AMEN! Yes I am finally resolute about this.<BR/><BR/>There is no going back now!Babz Rawls Ivyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04059921674059371076noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4650845911079200343.post-58361412245559978092008-08-12T20:10:00.000-04:002008-08-12T20:10:00.000-04:00Hey Sistah!ME TOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I settled for les...Hey Sistah!<BR/><BR/>ME TOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I settled for less back in the day...but I recognize who I am now...and I can't go back to less than the best treatment....can I get an Amen?Keisha "Kitten" Isaacshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02481825775250529786noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4650845911079200343.post-22216688139471647752008-08-12T19:42:00.000-04:002008-08-12T19:42:00.000-04:00Hey Pajnstl,That is too funny! Yes courting is a v...Hey Pajnstl,<BR/><BR/>That is too funny! Yes courting is a very old fashioned concept...almost unheard of!Babz Rawls Ivyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04059921674059371076noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4650845911079200343.post-49106106968853896482008-08-12T19:39:00.000-04:002008-08-12T19:39:00.000-04:00An older lady at work asked me who I was courting ...An older lady at work asked me who I was courting b/c of a dress I was wearing. I just laughed and said "my husband"Still Patricehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15354178083853153422noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4650845911079200343.post-77175338567746548772008-08-12T17:33:00.000-04:002008-08-12T17:33:00.000-04:00Dearest Jennifer,Hard answer NO! I think we are n...Dearest Jennifer,<BR/><BR/>Hard answer NO! I think we are not really prepared to accept a man who steps to us with courtship in mind. YES we are always ready and willing to convince lesser men to be with us, love us.<BR/><BR/>I too know it exist and I am doing the necessary work in preparation.Babz Rawls Ivyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04059921674059371076noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4650845911079200343.post-51641386273397638382008-08-12T17:14:00.000-04:002008-08-12T17:14:00.000-04:00Babz,I'm gonna ask a hard question:Do we as women ...Babz,<BR/>I'm gonna ask a hard question:<BR/>Do we as women really know how to RECEIVE a man schooled in the art? Are we so accustomed to convincing lesser men to love us and and settling crumbs that we resist a man's attempts at courtship? <BR/>As a woman who is being courted, I'm gonna be honest and say that the courted woman faces challenges of her own:knowing how to receive kindness; learning how to yield; shit, learning how to let a man open a door!<BR/>I KNOW that the art of courting exists today but I know a woman has to be committed to her internal work to enjoy it.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02502187801674008234noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4650845911079200343.post-38276313801748620472008-08-12T16:36:00.000-04:002008-08-12T16:36:00.000-04:00Hey Q,I am glad to hear men are interested in cour...Hey Q,<BR/><BR/>I am glad to hear men are interested in courting too! Yes it is difficult these days. I think women are conflicted and I think if they were honest with themselves they would slow things down a bit.<BR/><BR/>Well I am going to live how I want and love how I want.<BR/><BR/>It is good having you come through!Babz Rawls Ivyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04059921674059371076noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4650845911079200343.post-70190336527811886782008-08-12T16:01:00.000-04:002008-08-12T16:01:00.000-04:00I feel you on this.. I almost try as much as i can...I feel you on this.. I almost try as much as i can getting to know somone to 'court' them. Alot of young ladies dont like the courtship phase anymore;let alone the rest of America.. I hope you get that one day, cause if that what you want and its done honestly- its beautiful to say you have that history with that person.. Freinds who play that 'were just freinds' role, liking each other- those are the ones that experience the closest thing to what your talking about these days.. -Q.-Q.https://www.blogger.com/profile/16176158385111507485noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4650845911079200343.post-80186014032570852962008-08-12T14:04:00.000-04:002008-08-12T14:04:00.000-04:00I love you Fitzgerald! You are so very right! I ...I love you Fitzgerald! You are so very right! I was indeed trying to force something. Ahhh the grace of clarity and coming to one's senses. I am a Grown Woman!Babz Rawls Ivyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04059921674059371076noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4650845911079200343.post-79987182857417353822008-08-12T13:27:00.000-04:002008-08-12T13:27:00.000-04:00I want to go dancing...slow dancingThat's where th...<I>I want to go dancing...slow dancing</I><BR/><BR/>That's where the trouble begins. But I feel you on all the rest. I remember seeing you write about wanting to have sex and something in me said you just didn't look the part. I knew you were trying to force the issue as if the act would have given you your "mojo" back. I'm glad you've come to your senses. That's what grown women do.Rich Fitzgeraldhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02402320643799892517noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4650845911079200343.post-77635946115691787312008-08-12T11:20:00.000-04:002008-08-12T11:20:00.000-04:00Capcity,I swear it was like an ephiphany! I read ...Capcity,<BR/><BR/>I swear it was like an ephiphany! I read that post and BOOM all the lights clicked on. And I ahd to ask myself why am I willing to give myself away for so little? So I am puttin the breaks on trying to have a casual affair and work on having a courtship.<BR/><BR/>I am with you...bringing old-fashioned sexy BACK!Babz Rawls Ivyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04059921674059371076noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4650845911079200343.post-58045114805726928302008-08-12T11:10:00.000-04:002008-08-12T11:10:00.000-04:00Great minds think alike! I, too want to be courted...Great minds think alike! I, too want to be courted, woo'ed & SEDUCED;-). Sadly, so many lazy men can get their needs fulfilled without effort. But, I still am holding ON & holding OUT for the Discriminating Brother! I also decided I will begin to ask new "pursuers" what their intentions are.... <BR/><BR/>Yea, I'm bring old-fashioned sexy back! LOL!CapCityhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03772430267433358900noreply@blogger.com