Friday, December 31, 2010

HAPPY NEW YEAR! The Black Eyed Peas - I Gotta Feeling...

I am not crazy about the frenetic video, BUT THS SONG IS HOT! I am changing the lyrics and inserting: I GOT A FEELING THAT 2011 IS GONNA BE A GOOD GOOD YEAR! I GOT A FEELING THAT 2011 IS GONNA BE A GOOD GOOD YEAR!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Friday, December 24, 2010

MERRY MERRY HAPPY HAPPY!

I love Christmas!  Those that know me best can attest to this.  I happily and whole heartedly celebrate Thanksgiving, Christmas and Valentine's Day and my birthday with GUSTO!  Nothing gets in my way or on my nerves.  Whatever drama is unfolding I don't care, I stay in the holiday spirit!  The trick going into next year is keeping this spirit alive and well all year long.  That's one of my resolutions!  I am by nature and choice optimistic and romantic. 

There is love all around.  There is joy to be had or as my blog brother Lin who blogs over at Moanerplicities always suggests Snatch JOY!  Indeed I am!  Love is a choice.  Living well is a choice.  I have done remarkably well in choosing love over fear.  Don't get me wrong, I have many missteps and mistakes under my belt, but that's all a part of this living we all are desperate to do.

Merry Merry Happy Happy!  That sums it all up for me.  I will be back in 2011 with new adventures to seek out, more love to make and joy to snatch!

Thursday, December 16, 2010

DEAR SANTA: I WANT A PARTNER, LOVER, HUSBAND.

Yes I am declaring it I WANT A HUSBAND! I am ready.  Being with Mr. Love has made me realize I am a woman meant for marriage, partnership and  commitment.  So on my Christmas list to Santa, next to world peace, food for all, I want a husband.  Being married was lovely and I was sad that marriage ended.  I am not one of those people against marriage just because a marriage ended.  That marriage was not a failure, it produced 4 beautiful children and truth be told my ex and I are better partners apart. We have become much more balanced parents and I love that.

So, Dear Santa, I have a long standing Love List that would greatly guide your efforts.  Yes I know I am a complicated woman...who isn't?  I am realistic, I don't expect  him to be under the tree this year! However next year I will be waiting!

Merry Christmas!

Monday, December 6, 2010

NOT MISSING HIM AT ALL: THE LOVE STORY ENDS...FINALLY!

So finally He packed his things and moved out.  It took some doing to get him out of my house, and now it's done!  I do not miss the arguing, the nasty, snide comments, the disapproving glances, the quiet retreats from everyday basic conversation.  We just didn't get along.

It started with so much promise.  I had hoped this loveship would be thrilling, enriching, empowering and comforting.  What it really turned out to be was kooky unmet expectations.  Ignorant thinking, poor intellectual stimulation and great sex.  Not enough to build anything of substance.  "If only I would"... He would lament day in and day out.  If only I would be, do, think a certain kind of way.  If only I never challenged him on decisions, ridiculous stances of right and wrong and truth. If only he could be the lord and master of our fate. As I look back on the last year, I realized I got just what I asked for.  I got a poorly defined loveship with someone with a few of the things I like in a person, but not enough to root me to them.  I like smart men, that matters to me.  I like thinking, conscious, world saving men.  I like men who don't run away when things get tough or challenging or messy.  I like men who don't whine.  I like men who know how to be in family and put down roots.  I like men who like women...just as they are.  I like men who like themselves.  He did not like being in the world as it is.  He always saw doom and gloom and ugliness.  Ugghh he was depressing to my spirit.

Oh I tried and tried to make it work. Turned myself into a pretzel trying to make it work.  Dimmed my own bright lights trying to make this mess work.  I am relieved beyond measure not having him underfoot. I am glad he is gone.  The truth is he really wasn't here.  He really wasn't present.  I have to admit that he used my home as a pit stop.  A place to be while he was in-between here and there.  He has always been in between spaces and places.  He has never finished anything.  He has run from more challenging situations than I care to count.  But his life and shortcoming are not mine to count.  I have my own lessons to discern from this experience. 

He has indeed made me a richer woman in owning my truths and valuing what I need and want in a partner.  I have a map.  A love List that still speaks volumes to what I want in my life.  He can say whatever, think whatever.  I know he was wrong wrong wrong for me.  I am not missing him at all.

The Love Story ENDS.